The gayest movie of the year.

Yep that's right. I saw Brokeback Mountain. That must mean I'm Gay. Or maybe I'm just really sensitive. Maybe my Showtunes compilation CD had a scratch. Maybe I loaned out all my Liza Minelli films. Maybe my feather boa is at the dry cleaner. You get the picture. Brokeback Mountain is about two gay cowboys. One cowboy accepts his gayness. The other denies his gayness. From there the story goes.

I referenced this movie in a previous post. Gay people would tell you to see it then when you would say 'no man' they'd lecture you about having an open mind. So I'm a hypocrite. Oops. Moving forward. I saw the movie, and I liked it. Although there are points where honestly I couldn't relate. Regardless I got through those moments.

Most people probably aren't going to see this because they just chalk it up to I'm not gay. My recommendation would be to get over it. What I really liked about this movie is it's a story. It just puts everything out there. Also, no ulterior motives. So many times you see a movie and the people who made it think this message will change things. And with this movie it would have been easy to do that, but they didn't. It just delivers a great story. About one Cowboy who likes another Cowboy. I guess it's just so real. Isn't that the ultimate compliment to a filmmaker? Realness.

Ang Lee is successful in making one of the most beautiful Westerns I've ever seen. And yes it's a Western. The landscape is just amazing. He does so much with so little. My guess is this movie will clean up the Oscars. It's such an original movie. No movie has ever been made quite like it. The directing is amazing and so are the performances. Heath Ledger is really great. Perhaps better than Phil Hoffman in Capote. Which gets to another interesting topic. Is it better acting to give life to an original character, or to portray an existing person in history? But that is for another blog.

Sometimes getting over preconceived notions, thoughts, whatever is hard. If you want to see a good movie I suggest going to see Brokeback Mountain.

Born From What?

I'm wondering if other people have noticed the most retarded ad campaign running these days? The campaing belongs to Saab. Perhaps the strangest car out there. They seem nice, but I don't know anyone who owns one. Anyways Saab is hanging there automotive integrity on the campaign tag: BORN FROM JETS. First a couple thoughts that seem basic. Jets fly. Cars don't. Why does Saab feel this is so great? If a Saab deployed wings and flew all over the place then yes Born From Jets would be appropiate. Also Saabs would suddenly kick ass. Everyone would have a Saab if it flew. The flying thing is an odd comparison. Next the word 'Born'. Huh? So a jet popped a Saab out of it's fuselage. It just makes for a strange visual.

Saab is manufactored in Sweden. So with that logic these are Swedish jest. And in the commercial it appears that they are military jets. Ohhh scary. Swedish military jets scare me about as much as Swedish meatballs. What a misguided campaign this is. If someone buys a Saab because it was born from a jet I'd like to meet them and immediately slap them.

When you look at the family tree of Jets it goes Jets, planes, wright brothers, bikes. So really it should be Saab Born from Bicycles.

What Could've Been

I recently received an email from someone regarding a trade proposal the Brewers turned down. The Phillies wanted to send the Brewers Ryne Sandberg for a middle reliever. Don't remember who the reliever was, but he was obviously a mouse turd in the scheme of baseball history. That got me thinking of what could've been. Ryne Sandberg, Robin Yount, and Paul Molitor talk about a vaunted infield. What's ironic is that the Brewers potentially could have an infield this good right now. We could look back in 15 years and say, "What luck." Granted these guys are all in the Hall Of Fame, and it's yet to be seen what Bill Hall, JJ Hardy, Rickie Weeks, and Prince Fielder will ever do, but regardless it's interesting to speculate. It's too bad the Brewers GM at the time didn't grab Sandberg. A) Because I hate the Cubs B) Maybe he could've put us over the top for the World Series in 82. Anyways that's enough about this, here's some more horrible sports transactions in Wisconsin's history.

Dr. J was drafted by the Bucks. His name was just Julius at the time, but rather than go to the NBA he decided to go to the ABA. Things worked out well for him. The Bucks didn't totally suck in the early 80s either, but it makes you wonder what could've been.

The Bucks seem to be very inept at recognizing talent. Remember, we had Dirk Nowitzski, but traded him for Tractor Trayler? What a blunder that was. Plus it's close to home cause they're both still playing. Guess who got the better end of that deal? The Mavericks are always in the playoffs. The Bucks are sporadic at best and are still trying to find out who they are.

Then of course the Ray Allen--Gary Payton debacle. This one I chalk up to George Karl trying to make a last ditch effort to prove that his guys can win. He was wrong. Gary bolted immediately. Ray is still in Seattle. Nice move Bucks.

What could've been...

Albums I've Listened to So Far in 2006

I like to listen to albums. With the advent of the Ipod people seem to be downloading individual songs more and more. Poppycock! With that said here's a list in no particular order of some albums I've listened to recently.

The Smiths--Louder Than Bombs

The Who--Quadrophenia (which reminds me, I just bought this kick ass Who poster from the 1973 Who Quadrophenia tour. It's being framed right now. I'll post a photo soon. Maybe even do a whole blog on the greatest band ever.)

Brian Wilson--Smile

Ween--12 Country Hits

Dinosaur Jr.--You're Living All Over Me.

Sufjan Stevens--Illinois

Radiohead--Kid A

I HATE (OK HATE IS A STRONG WORD, MAYBE DON'T UNDERSTAND) VEGANS

I'd like to share a story about vegans. This weekend I was dining at a local eatery that is not only amazing, it is also Vegan friendly. Which means, let the parade of freaks in. Anyways I'm enjoying a delicious cheesy roast beef sandwich when four people down from this Vegan starts raising holy hell. First I'd like to describe this person too you. He has more metal on his face then a thirteen year old with braces and head gear. Except this dude isn't taking his stuff off when he goes into public. Also, he's a painted man. Tattooed isn't a strong enough work. This guy had ink all over. His lower jaw, his arms, he was wearing pants (thank god) so I couldn't tell if he was leg painted, but I assume he was. Finally he dreedlocks. And not the cool rastaman vibration locks, but the gross, haven't showered since the Clinton administration locks. Approachable is not a word I would use to describe this gentlemen. He seemed like the kind of person who constantly burns incense and smokes American Spirits cause they're natural man. Oh, he was with his girlfriend too. She basically looked the same, minus the face tattoos.

He orders a Vegan Burrito. The server brings it to him (server is a word I have now officially ingrained into my memory cause I do ad work for a restaurant and you can't call people waiters or waitresses. So if you hear me say waiter slap me.) his meal of food. He is immediately angry. Not like freaking, but mad. He turns to one of the people I was with for lunch and says, "You believe they are out of Vegan sour cream!" Actually buddy yeah. See that's one of the luxuries you give up when you become a Vegan. No more sour cream. See ya, bye bye. We all love sour cream. But it comes from a cows teet and there isn't much you can do about. It's like a smoker complaining about someone smoking next to them. Which brings me to this, why become a Vegan at all if you still want sour cream. To me it's cheating, even if it's vegan sour cream. I don't get it.

Now let me share a bit about me. I'm a meat eater. But I'm one with a conscious. I realize that some poor animal suffered for me to but fat in my belly. The thing I understand is that humans are meat eaters. We eat flesh because it gives us a superior amount of energy to tackle the obstacles of the day. Science is on my side too. Our jaws and teeth are built to tear the flesh off the bone of animal. So sue me, I like a T-Bone steak. I like a chicken breast. I'll take two more meatballs. You're either a meat eater or you aren't. You're either a meat eater or a Vegan. Vegetarians? They eat eggs, drink milk, and USE SOUR CREAM. How is that better then eating meat? If it's a health decision I get it, but if it's a moral decision, there is only one way to go Vegan.

And as I mentioned Vegans are people I don't understand. How can you make that choice? Morale is great, but it just seems like there's better morale choices to make. Like stop the death of children around the world. Or rid Iraq of evil-doers. Or give a grey hound a home. Whatever it is being a Vegan just seems like the biggest inconvenience of all time. It also gives people an "act like an ass card" cause this isn't vegan. You can never go out to dinner. You have to eat only vegetables, fruit, soy, nuts, water, unleavened bread, and stuff that contains no animal by products. Being a Vegan sounds like a job in it self. Which is probably why a lot of Vegans I see look like they don't have jobs. They don't have a job cause they're reading food labels 5 hours a day and complaining about not being able to use Vegan Sour Cream.

Six Feet Underrated

I've started renting old TV shows. Although this particular show is not TV it's HBO. When Six Feet Under was on normally I never watched it, but recently I started getting them sent to me thanks to Netflix. Now I'm obsessed with it. I sit waiting at my mailbox everyday like a dog waiting for a biscuit, but instead of a biscuit I get a great drama, black comedy. It makes my day. What I"m wondering is why I never stayed after the Soprano's to watch this show. Was it because I wanted to watch Family Guy? The Simpsons? If that's the case what an idiot I am. Six Feet Under is way better than both those shows. Right now I'm on season three.

I like the show cause it makes me feel good. There are people out there way more messed up than I'll ever be. And HBO has greatfully made a show about them. Be it David turning into Homosexual version of his passive agressive mother, or Nate slowly turning into the undertaker he never wanted to be. Just like his father. Claire the freak, who's only attracted to other freaks. Her life seems to fall apart during every episode. Then there's Ruth. A good Mom, but she sure raised some insane children. Something is lurking in the past with Ruth. I'm looking forward to seeing what it is.

I miss Brenda. She just came back briefly at the beginning of season three, but I need her back full time. She's such a freak. I also miss Nikolai. Ruth's Russian boyfriend. I have a feeling he's gone forever. Which is sad. Looking forward to letting everyone know how season 3 and 4 turn out.

I love Ted Ferguson

Happy New Year to everyone. I love Ted Ferguson. Bud Light has, once again, struck gold with a new character. His name is Ted Ferguson and he is a stunt man. He'll listen to his girlfriend, albeit for 3 minutes, but he needs his Bud Light when it's over. It just seems that Budweiser always is one step ahead of Miller when it comes to funny commercials. Why? I don't know. But Ted Ferguson is making a lasting impression already. Bud Light has always been great at funny. The Real Men of Genius radio spots set the bar really high. Now it appears that have a similar formula here with Ted. I hope they don't overdue this guy. My guess is we'll have to stare at Ted for a few more years, but hopefully not.

Sometimes the best ads are the ones that are only on your plate for a quick amount of time. In fact Ted isn't even original. He's still good, but Miller Lite ran a stunt man campaign about 8 years ago. The guys name was different and he was a bit goofy in appearence, but essentially it was the same campaign. He tested the Miller to make sure it worked. Ted Ferguson does stunts and is rewarded by a cold one. My point here is that every single ad rips off something else, and usually another ad. Is that bad? Well some people would say yes, you're a hack, but that simply isn't true.

If you read enough literature you begin to see writers rip each other off all the time. Would Joseph Heller have been able to write Catch-22 without a little inspiration from Kurt Vonnegat? Probably not. Tell me a horror writer out there today that doesn't get inspiration from Edgar Allen Poe. It's even evident in movies. Directors barrow other directors styles.

Which brings me back to Ted Ferguson being great. He's great because he's entertaining, he's fun, and isn't that what entertainment is? Isn't that was advertising is? Entertainment.