Thursday, December 29, 2005

TSMGMF and A's Sportsman of the Year.

When determining who the Sportsman of the Year was going to be, many different themes and topics had to be explored. For instance you had the White Sox winning their first World Series in 80 years. Ozzie Guillen rallied a team of misfits to champs. It just didn't feel big enough The thought of Michelle Wie becoming a professional wasn't given any thought. It's not a story til she wins. SI chose Tom Brady as there's. Great player, great leader, seems like a good person, but he's got so much press already, and lets be honest there just isn't quite enough there. Everyone seemed transfixed with Danica Patrick. Race car drivers are automatically exempt from this award. Auto racing isn't a sport. TSMGMF and A's Sportsman of the Year didn't do a damn thing this year. He tried to sell a book, he tried to be self serving, but during the process he blew the whistle on something that has been plaguing baseball for the last 20 years. He halted the use of steroids in Major League Baseball about as fast as one of this homers got out of the stadium. Jose Canseco did more for baseball in three months than he did in his entire career. For that he's Sportsman of the Year.

Even though you didn't want to, when Jose Canseco outted many major leaguers as roid users, you had to listen. Jose Canseco was the poster boy of, "man that guy has to be on steroids." It seemed like everyone in the universe knew he was on something except the people who ran baseball. We should be applauding Canseco for what he did. He saved baseball. He's turned it back into the game it should be. Only gifted players should excel. They should excel with hard work and a knack for baseball. They shouldn't achieve fake records cause they use a needle.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Dunkin Donuts Vs. Krispy Kreme

I got the idea to write about this because I heard the Donut guy died. You know that little man with the mustache who said, "Gotta make the donuts." Some pretty memorable ads from the eighties. Although I was a child there are three ads that really stick out from the eighties. The donut guy. The 'where's the beef' lady. And of course that teddy bear from the downy commericials. Don't know why these are so memorable, but they are. Pretty amazing you remember an ad from so long ago. But let's bring this back to donuts. It's too bad the donut guy died. This brings us to the more important topic: Who has a better product, Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts.

Krispy Kreme's have exploded in Starbucks fashion all over the country. Four years ago if one opened up people waited in an hour line for donuts. An hour! The donuts are good, but not worth the hour wait. I'll go to the grocery store and wait fifteen seconds to eat a gut bomb.

Krispy Kreme's claim to fame is their glazed donut. Since glazed donuts suck, Krispy Kreme sucks. It's that simple. Make a complicated donut then give me call. Sure they make a couple different varieties, but nothing like the Double D of Donuts.

Donuts are donuts. Well that's true. But in order to have a truely great donut you need some great coffee. And that's where Dunkin Donuts takes things to the next level. Their coffee is second to none in the donut business.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

King Long

After putting it off for a couple of days I decided that it was time to let my guard down and go see King Kong. Or as I referred to it in a previous post, Lord of the Rings 4. I need to apologize for that comment, as this movie definitely stands on it's own. Peter Jackson has created a film that is not only a tip of the cap to the people who made movies in the 30s, but is also a movie that already has timeless classic written all over it. It's very similar to the original King Kong in the timeless classic manner. My one complaint about an otherwise wonderful movie is it's so long. I mean if this was a book it'd be War and Peace. It's up there in time with some of the longest movies I've ever seen. In order to pay proper homage to great film that was a bit too long, I'm going to write a blog entry that is regrettably too long. So grab a cup of coffee. Go to the bathroom. And get ready to read.

Peter Jackson has lost some weight. I guess his decision to stop looking like a hobit after LOR was done has paid off. He's a sleaker more futuristic Peter Jackson. Or maybe he didn't want to over shadow King Kong in size and girth. Who knows, but whatever it is he looks skinnier.

Speaking of skinny Naomi Watts was skinny and wonderful as Ann. Man she is one beautiful women. It's weird to think Heath Ledger left her to go star in a gay cowboy movie. Which is something that is pissing me off. I don't want to go see Brokeback Mountain. When I say that numerous people respond, "Open up your mind." What? It's got nothing to do with the fact that they're gay. It's not that I don't want to see the movie. Here's what I'm going to do to fight this. I'm going to bait people by saying I'm going to see Cheaper by the Dozen 2. When they respond that looks terrible I'm going to give them the open up your mind whiney retort. It's fucking ridiculous. Ironically if the movie was about to female cowboys that fall in love I'd probably be there in a second. So I have a few things to learn about an open mind. Whatever. Go see Cheaper by the Dozen 2.

Steve Martin. How? Why? One of the greatest movies ever, The Jerk, was all Martin. It's comic gold, so what's the genius doing? CBTD 2. It's sad. Maybe he's too grey. Silver means crap movies. Silver is a big color in Kong. So silver meaning crap movie must be a false statement. In fact Kong himself is freaking amazing. You'd never guess that the entire film was shot on green screen then Kong added in. We'll you'd guess it if you knew there aren't 35 foot Apes walking around. My one complaint about Kong is that he looks like a British actor is playing him. IT just doesn't look like a real Ape. I mean it's not, I know that, but it still kind of looks like the human in the ape suit. This is minutiae, and you probably wouldn't even notice, alas it's something I noticed.

Jack Black rocks. I loved him in School of Rock and I loved him in Kong. He plays this obsessed guy perfectly. It's contagious. After seeing and hearing Jack Black as Denham you feel his passion. You see his vision. But it's really sad when he traps Kong. Kong just turn around. You know these people are going to hurt you. Go back to your island sanctuary. Good monkey.

Black and Colin Hanks are back together after there movie Orange County. Those two have some chemistry. I wonder if they're buddies. I bet they are. Orange County is one of those underrated great movies. It's like Anchorman, Scrooged, Ferris Buehler, and Breakfast Club. You will watch this movie whenever it's on. I love movies like this. Unfortunately Kong will never be a movie like this because it's too long. That's also why I think it won't be that huge at the box office. It's got literally no rewatchability. I probably won't even rent it when it comes out on DVD. And anyone who buys it is crazy. Spend 20 bucks for a movie you may watch twice in your life.

Man right about now I'm lost. I don't know what I'm talking about. So why not stay lost and talk a bit about LOST the show. What's going on? When is there going to be a new one. They've been real dicks this season. Giving us the back of the plane. Every season they're going to reveal a new section of the plane that broke off and new characters are going to be introduced. Fantastic. LOST people let's start moving the plot. Where's the French lady? Others what up? Walt where are you man? And will Jin ever speak a word of English? Tune in this Wednesday and find out. Or be introduced to another new character and get their back story.

24...23...22...21 what's that? The countdown for 24. Which starts soon too. It's like LOST, but you know if you stick with it, it will be resolved. Keifer Sutherland is back. What a huge project for him. The people who hate 24 say how can he be in all these predicaments? The answer he's Jack Bauer and he's a bad ass. Who else is going to solve your problems? Plus this year brings back the beautiful Alisha Cuthbert. That's a great thing. I hope we see her a lot. Usually she screws everything up. We have that to look forward to.

Man I'm looking out the window trying to figure out what to write about. I have no ideas anymore. But I must keep going. King Kong didn't stop at 2 hours. It kept going. Sure they could have cut the dinosaur fight scene, but they didn't. They gave it to the audience and the audience devoured it like a T Rex dining on a side of cattle. So forward I go. And now that I'm back to Kong let's talk about the other star of the film. Adrien Brody. I don't like him. He seems like a real jerk actor. Sure he's talented. The Pianist is a gem. But something about him makes me want to kick him in the face. Like in that Diet Coke commercial. That's what I be he's really like. Drinking his Diet Coke like he's the coolest guy in the world. Making people drive him around in a convertible like he's Mr. Big Shot Hollywood Oscar Boy. Well screw you Brody. Take that Diet Coke and choke on it. He was wonderful in King Kong.

I went to Church last night. It is Christmas. I'm all about Church. But can't they make it interesting? Those carols. Oh my god. So boring. The sermon was actually pretty good. Talking about how the actual events of Christmas probably aren't true, but the spirit is what was intended to be passed on. I like that message. Seeing as to most people Christmas is waiting in line to have a piece of plastic you bought for someone wrapped.

This is my paragraph about special effects. The special effects were great in Kong. Wow. Really neat. The monkey, the dinosaurs. Those swamp creatures and bugs. Cool.
Ipods. I wonder how many god damn Ipods were given this Christmas? Probably 40 billion. Little starving Ethiopians are getting Ipods instead of food this Christmas.

So that's the sad ending. Little Ethiopian kids hoping for some grain, but instead getting Bono on an Ipod singing one of those terrible songs from How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. We're Irish this title is ironic cause the world is literally an atomic bomb and we're dismantling it with our Rock and Roll.

Kong's ending was sad.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Sally Jesse Raphael fans UNITE!

This is a picture of me circa 1993. Notice the beautiful stone washed jeans, not to mention the stone washed polo. I don't look that much different in 2005. My face isn't quite as perfectly round. But what can I say I still have a bit of baby face. And of course how could you miss my Sally Jesse Raphael glasses? I mean what was I thinking.

I'll tell you exactly what I was thinking. I look exactly like John Lennon. I rule.

Ebanezer had nothing on Francis Xavier Cross

If there's one thing everyone is unabashedly sick of these days it's that dated piece of crap by Charles Dickens. Ebanezer give me a break. Besides that guy who used to be on the Cowboy's, who's called Ebanezer? Yet however overplayed a Christmas Carol is, I enjoy the modern telling of this tale. You may have seen it. It's called Scrooged and it's the best work Bill Murray has ever done. Sure everyone points to Zizzou, or Rushmore, both great movies, but I feel this movie made Bill Murray what he is today. It let him rant, and rave. Be a maniac.

I don't want to be a movie reviewer, so I'll keep this short. Frank Cross is a bastard. He's such a bastard. He'll steal from someone weaker than him. And his greed is unparalleled. But Frank is in for a surprise. Three ghosts. You know the rest. Bad Frank becomes good Frank. Greedy turn to generous. He wins back the heart of his old love Claire. Who's great by the way. And that's the story. Short and sweet.

Scrooged helps me realize the genius of Charles Dickens. All his stories, novels, and writings are simple. After reading his books you can literally tell someone what they're about in one sentence. So hat's off to you Mr. Dickens you're a great story teller. However, your dated stories won't go away. Ohhh I'm a poor little London boy with no money. Give it a rest. Dear Sir, my benefactor will be visiting me in a fortnight. Fuck off Pip. Unless you're enjoying David Copperfield in a cottage in Wales, drinking tea, and having a French whore giving you a shoulder rub I just don't see how you could enjoy it.

My point. Christmas Carol is a great story, however when you go see it at your local theatre or watch the movie from another time it's kind of boring. Scrooged takes the boring and makes it hilarious. I love that about it. I also love that it's so close to the original story. And the irony of it all is that the TV station which Frank is president of is putting on another lame incarnation of the dated story. Buddy Hacket as Scrooge, Mary Lou Retton as Tiny Tim. I mean I'm laughing as I write this. It's brilliant. Poking fun at the crap these Christmas Carol productions are.

So thank you Bill Murray for making a current version of Scrooged that everyone can enjoy. The messages are all the same. You get the point. But you laugh a hell of a lot more. And after all isn't that what Christmas is all about? Laughing and enjoying your family and friends.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Welcome back Milwaukee Bucks

The three year post Big Three hangover is behind us. Bucks Basketball is back and built in the model of the 80s glory years. Who woulda thought Big Men dunking, rebounding, and blocking shots? Not during the George Karl era. He didn't value rebounding, never understood that, but his protege Terry Stotts does. The captain of the ship is steering them in the right direction. Especially after last nights HUGE win over the SA Spurs. 109-107. It shouldn't be surprising who was front and center in the win.

Bogut. Andrew Bogut. The Melbourne Maniac. Remember a couple of months ago when Bucks fans were screaming for Marvin WIlliams? Good thing that worked out. Sure he may be good, but Bogut is proving to be the kind of tough player the Bucks have desperately needed. This was none more evident last night when he rebounded a missed shot and put it back up with a few seconds left to send the game to OT. Would this have happened with last years team? No way. But not to be out done. Tie game .7 seconds left, Kukoc lofts the perfect tip pass to Bogut, who tips it in and the Bucks win. I think Paschke had an aneurysm when he sank it. You can honestly say that if the Bucks didn't have Bogut they would not have beat the defending champs. That's when you know you made the right draft choice.

Flinging Poo and other interesting stuff.

Visit my friend Drew's blog. He's a farmer now. He is also an art director. But this second he's a farmer. Learn something new about cow's.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

That's Classic

This is Turner Classic Movies(TCM) current tagline. And I think these are some of the best print ads I've seen in a while. I've seen these ads in Entertainment Weekly, and Sports Illustrated. The layout is simple. Two colors on one page that's cut directly in half. My favorite one says "When you have a killer computer, that's impressive. When you have a killing computer, that's classic." HAL, that's the first thing I thought of. That jerk. Amazing bit of copy. So to the point. Then in the middle is the guy from 2001 sitting in his space suit. Just a great ad campaign. Classic in every sense. There are more too. One for King Kong (the old one not Lord of the Rings part 4), North by Northwest, and Pyscho to name a few.

There's also a TV spot that I've seen before movies in the theatre. It's pretty much the print but in TV form. I don't have any examples, but hopefully you'll keep an eye out for these. And I realize I said TV spot before a moive. Ok I mean trailer. Or Movie spot.

Explanations from last post.

As I mentioned, food will be discussed. For those of you who aren't from Minnesota, Wisconsin, or Vietnam you may not be aware of Rocky's. Well let me acquaint you. It's only the best pizza ever. Problem with it is that it's a fast food format. It obviously doesn't work, as six Rocky's still exist. Without going into too much buy the pizza by the slice, you can also buy whole pies. Suasage is the best.

The greatest thing about Rocky's is of course Rocky himself. This bastard child of advertising (heeyoh another topic) is perhaps the most underrated character or icon. Before the King came back there was Rocky. Who wouldn't want to eat pizza from this creep.

Don't go back to Rocky Rococo's

Unless of course you want a delicious pizza. That's right, pizza, I'm talking about pizza. What a great food. So delicious. Simple yet complex. Plus pizza is great for metaphors. So here's a deep dish serving of a delicious pizza metaphor. The purpose of this blog is to discuss things I find important in pop culture (aka the dough). TV, Movies, Sports, Music, and Advertising(Toppings). Oh yeah I read too so that may come into play sometimes. I may talk about that. Finally I like girls, or women. Either are fine. So I may talk about some girls(usually celebs).

As you can see this pizza pie has a lot of toppings, but they're all good. Hold the mushrooms. So you may be saying, "Dude this Blog has no subject matter, it's going to fail." Probably. In fact this may be my only post. What I'm going to try to do with this Blog is entertain myself. Hopefully other people will be entertained as well. Maybe even someone will discover something that they never heard of. Knowledge is great.

I work in advertising as a copywriter. So that's why there's the advertising. As a advertisinger it's important to talk about kick ass ads you see in print, TV, internet, cable, whatever. It's just something that's fun for me to rant on. If you are in advertising you may be wondering, "What's this jackass done?" Well the answer is you're better than me. That's the determination you'd come to anyway so why fight it. I'm giving my opinion on these ads. MINE, not yours. So try to stay chill.

So welcome family, friends, and enemies.