King Long

After putting it off for a couple of days I decided that it was time to let my guard down and go see King Kong. Or as I referred to it in a previous post, Lord of the Rings 4. I need to apologize for that comment, as this movie definitely stands on it's own. Peter Jackson has created a film that is not only a tip of the cap to the people who made movies in the 30s, but is also a movie that already has timeless classic written all over it. It's very similar to the original King Kong in the timeless classic manner. My one complaint about an otherwise wonderful movie is it's so long. I mean if this was a book it'd be War and Peace. It's up there in time with some of the longest movies I've ever seen. In order to pay proper homage to great film that was a bit too long, I'm going to write a blog entry that is regrettably too long. So grab a cup of coffee. Go to the bathroom. And get ready to read.

Peter Jackson has lost some weight. I guess his decision to stop looking like a hobit after LOR was done has paid off. He's a sleaker more futuristic Peter Jackson. Or maybe he didn't want to over shadow King Kong in size and girth. Who knows, but whatever it is he looks skinnier.

Speaking of skinny Naomi Watts was skinny and wonderful as Ann. Man she is one beautiful women. It's weird to think Heath Ledger left her to go star in a gay cowboy movie. Which is something that is pissing me off. I don't want to go see Brokeback Mountain. When I say that numerous people respond, "Open up your mind." What? It's got nothing to do with the fact that they're gay. It's not that I don't want to see the movie. Here's what I'm going to do to fight this. I'm going to bait people by saying I'm going to see Cheaper by the Dozen 2. When they respond that looks terrible I'm going to give them the open up your mind whiney retort. It's fucking ridiculous. Ironically if the movie was about to female cowboys that fall in love I'd probably be there in a second. So I have a few things to learn about an open mind. Whatever. Go see Cheaper by the Dozen 2.

Steve Martin. How? Why? One of the greatest movies ever, The Jerk, was all Martin. It's comic gold, so what's the genius doing? CBTD 2. It's sad. Maybe he's too grey. Silver means crap movies. Silver is a big color in Kong. So silver meaning crap movie must be a false statement. In fact Kong himself is freaking amazing. You'd never guess that the entire film was shot on green screen then Kong added in. We'll you'd guess it if you knew there aren't 35 foot Apes walking around. My one complaint about Kong is that he looks like a British actor is playing him. IT just doesn't look like a real Ape. I mean it's not, I know that, but it still kind of looks like the human in the ape suit. This is minutiae, and you probably wouldn't even notice, alas it's something I noticed.

Jack Black rocks. I loved him in School of Rock and I loved him in Kong. He plays this obsessed guy perfectly. It's contagious. After seeing and hearing Jack Black as Denham you feel his passion. You see his vision. But it's really sad when he traps Kong. Kong just turn around. You know these people are going to hurt you. Go back to your island sanctuary. Good monkey.

Black and Colin Hanks are back together after there movie Orange County. Those two have some chemistry. I wonder if they're buddies. I bet they are. Orange County is one of those underrated great movies. It's like Anchorman, Scrooged, Ferris Buehler, and Breakfast Club. You will watch this movie whenever it's on. I love movies like this. Unfortunately Kong will never be a movie like this because it's too long. That's also why I think it won't be that huge at the box office. It's got literally no rewatchability. I probably won't even rent it when it comes out on DVD. And anyone who buys it is crazy. Spend 20 bucks for a movie you may watch twice in your life.

Man right about now I'm lost. I don't know what I'm talking about. So why not stay lost and talk a bit about LOST the show. What's going on? When is there going to be a new one. They've been real dicks this season. Giving us the back of the plane. Every season they're going to reveal a new section of the plane that broke off and new characters are going to be introduced. Fantastic. LOST people let's start moving the plot. Where's the French lady? Others what up? Walt where are you man? And will Jin ever speak a word of English? Tune in this Wednesday and find out. Or be introduced to another new character and get their back story.

24...23...22...21 what's that? The countdown for 24. Which starts soon too. It's like LOST, but you know if you stick with it, it will be resolved. Keifer Sutherland is back. What a huge project for him. The people who hate 24 say how can he be in all these predicaments? The answer he's Jack Bauer and he's a bad ass. Who else is going to solve your problems? Plus this year brings back the beautiful Alisha Cuthbert. That's a great thing. I hope we see her a lot. Usually she screws everything up. We have that to look forward to.

Man I'm looking out the window trying to figure out what to write about. I have no ideas anymore. But I must keep going. King Kong didn't stop at 2 hours. It kept going. Sure they could have cut the dinosaur fight scene, but they didn't. They gave it to the audience and the audience devoured it like a T Rex dining on a side of cattle. So forward I go. And now that I'm back to Kong let's talk about the other star of the film. Adrien Brody. I don't like him. He seems like a real jerk actor. Sure he's talented. The Pianist is a gem. But something about him makes me want to kick him in the face. Like in that Diet Coke commercial. That's what I be he's really like. Drinking his Diet Coke like he's the coolest guy in the world. Making people drive him around in a convertible like he's Mr. Big Shot Hollywood Oscar Boy. Well screw you Brody. Take that Diet Coke and choke on it. He was wonderful in King Kong.

I went to Church last night. It is Christmas. I'm all about Church. But can't they make it interesting? Those carols. Oh my god. So boring. The sermon was actually pretty good. Talking about how the actual events of Christmas probably aren't true, but the spirit is what was intended to be passed on. I like that message. Seeing as to most people Christmas is waiting in line to have a piece of plastic you bought for someone wrapped.

This is my paragraph about special effects. The special effects were great in Kong. Wow. Really neat. The monkey, the dinosaurs. Those swamp creatures and bugs. Cool.
Ipods. I wonder how many god damn Ipods were given this Christmas? Probably 40 billion. Little starving Ethiopians are getting Ipods instead of food this Christmas.

So that's the sad ending. Little Ethiopian kids hoping for some grain, but instead getting Bono on an Ipod singing one of those terrible songs from How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. We're Irish this title is ironic cause the world is literally an atomic bomb and we're dismantling it with our Rock and Roll.

Kong's ending was sad.