The Heroes of the Olympics

That hot chic who was an ice dancer.

That hot chic who was a snowboarder.

That cute chic who was another snowboarder.

and Bode Miller.

PSP Has Arrived

First off sorry to all those who have searched out this blog to waste time and found nothing new. Those days are over. Recently I was on vacation. It was awesome. And when I returned home, I was lucky enough to receive the greatest gift off all time. The PSP.

For those of you who don't know the PSP stands for playstation portable. That's right folks. A playstation you can take anywhere. And yes, it's been in the bathroom. So what does this mean for me, my life, my blog. Well, it's going to mean a lot of procrastination. It's going to mean I'm always going to have this little piece of plastic in my hands at all times.

So how is it? It's amazing. You video games? You'll love this. It's all the powers of a TV, and computer in your hands. The screen is great too. I got Tennis and Soccer. Both are cool, but very difficult. Also they make these things for pygmy hands. My hands cramp up like nobody's business when I start playing for anything more than 20 minutes. That's the only drawback.

On a side note, I don't think I'm going to be reading as much.

Viral Advertising: When a Good Thing Goes Client

I love viral advertising. I really do. Too bad it's dead. So long, bye bye, see you on the other side. Remember the good ol days. BMW films. The subserviant chicken. Those were great. So fun. So original. What happened? How did viral die?

Two words. The client. The client found out about this medium. And not the forward thinking who originally approved the idea. These are the kind of MBA marketing degree people who in a meeting spit out something like, "We need to go viral with this campaign." By saying that they mean, lets take our TV spot where we show a fancy car and just put it online. What guy wouldn't want to forward that on to his friend?

Unfortunately the answer is no one. Which is why viral died. Sometimes people get caught up in the hot trend. What they forget is that the trend comes and goes, but it's the idea that's always going to stay. So rather than think of viral as a linear extention of what the ad campaign is about, think of viral as it's own deal. Would you make a TV spot into a radio spot? Unless you're sniffing glue and working for GM, then probably not. So why should a TV spot be the viral spot? It shouldn't. TV is TV, viral should be it's own animal. If TV is a Panda, then viral should be a racoon.

We're treading dangerous waters. The suggestion that viral and the campaign don't need to be related is a valid one, however, there does need to be a connection somewhere. Case in point, Miller Lite, they have these beer run TV spots. Recently they've employeed the direction of Spike Jonze and made some interesting Viral Ads involving various North American animals talking about their acting careers. Here's the link... http://www.millerauditions.com/
As you can see they really have nothing to do about anything. They're just weird. Weird is good, but make it have a point.

Weird with a point is powerful. Weird with a point is some of the best advertising. Isn't that right Subserviant Chicken?

Jerome Bettis is From Detroit

Wasn't sure if you guys knew this. And just so we're clear, Jerome Bettis is from Detroit. His team happens to be in the Super Bowl, and the Super Bowl happens to be in Detroit. You know what this means? Nothing. People don't care. Honestly they don't, they'd rather get a free pizza delivered to them. They'd rather try to get a pencil stuck in the ceiling (you know what I'm talking about. In elementary, or middle school those weird asbestos ceiling tiles. You throw a nicely sharpened pencil into it and if you're luck it sticks.) Well people would rather do that then hear one more story about this mediocre running back returning home to win a Superbowl.

OK, Ok, so it does mean something. It means something to those retards*. The retards* think that Jerome Bettis going home for a Super Bowl is the biggest story in all of sports. At least over the last two weeks. What the retards* aren't mentioning is the fact that we have a great game on our hands. Who cares though? The game will get ruined. It'll get ruined by all the commercial capitalistic blah that will all of us will get bombarded with. And even if we manage not to get distracted by shiny Ipods, or Cadillac rocking out to another baby boomer song we'll miss something cause we're stuffing our face with Dominoes Pizza topped with Tositodos and Pepsi.

What I'm saying is the Super Bowl sucks. I mean it's in Detroit for crying out loud. Who was the genius who decided to put it there? Probably someone who has something to do with the retards*. Thanks to the retards* the games are always over hyped. Unless Matt Hasselback grows Fabio hair, throws the ball around the earth before completing the pass, and eats four bacon cheeseburgers on a bootleg pass then the game will be overrated. Once again thanks to the retards*.

I don't care about this Superbowl. I really don't. I will watch it. Hopefully I'll have a piece of pepperoni in my hands, but I'm not going to enjoy it. I promise. The retards* ruin the Super Bowl every year. You may say, "Jon why don't you ignore the retards?" I would say, "I can't they're everywhere. The retards* have infected my television. They're in my newspaper. My computer has a virus called retardiatia*. I don't know what to do."

With all that said here are some predictions for Super Bowl Sunday.

--I will eat an entire pizza.
--I will eat an entire bag of chips.
--I will drink 6 beers.
--The retards* will piss me off.
--6 hours of pregame will turn into infinity of pregame. Hell is officially on earth.
--6 hours of pregame will turn into six hours of Jerome Bettis is from Detroit. His house got boarded up. He weighs more than 255. He had his high school number retired. His teammates wore his Notre Dame jersey on the flight.
--Is it me or have you guys lost respect for Hines Ward? What a pussy that guy is. I'll take Randle El over him any day. So Hines Ward will become a bigger pussy.


Retards*--refers to any person affiliated with ESPN. They are evil. They are ruining sports.