laughlinland

New Furniture!!!

2009-01-23T12:30:00.004-06:00

Lauren and I recently bought some new furniture for the pad. Check it out.

The place is finally starting to come together, only took a year and two months. But furniture is pricey.

Also headed out to Ikea for a bookshelf. The old couch from upstairs went into the little den/office we have downstairs. Couple that with the new bookshelf it's getting quite cozy down there.

FACEinHOLE

2008-12-12T19:05:00.001-06:00

Create your own FACEinHOLE

Shelf Hunged

2008-11-10T10:38:00.005-06:00

I wanted to build a shelf for books in our place. After looking at a variety of book shelves and various other storage structures, I decided the coolest and most visually interesting thing to do was hang a hunk of wood. But finding a hunk of wood is harder than you may think. See I wanted something that still had bark on it, or the exterior of a tree. I asked a contractor I knew of any places in the area, he gave me the name of a lumber place in Wisconsin. Here's what I got.

And here's the wall where it's going to live.

After I got the wood home it was time to clear coat and seal it. This was the tedious part, four days of sanding, clear coating and repeating. Fortunately the lumber place was able to get a lot of the work done, they hand a huge machine that sanded it down to 80 grid. From there I went to 120, 220, 320 grid. Applying a coat of clear coat after sanding.

Sanding and clear coating complete it was time to hang. I had help. At first we thought it would be ok to mount it with screws, but that plan was quickly scraped. The wood weighs nearly 80lbs. So we affixed brackets to the wall and two the wood. Here's how it looks.

My Michael Ian Black

2008-10-24T16:27:00.002-05:00

Seriously, am I the only person that finds this guy funny? Stella was amazing. His stand up comedy album was amazing and now his book is amazing.

What is it? Well it's basically a collection of 3 page essays. One is entitled Taco Party, it goes on to describe how amazing his Taco Party is going to be. And let me tell you it sounds like one awesome Taco Party. Another shares the title of the book. Describing how amazingly kick ass a custom van could be.

Due to the short length of chapters this book is perfect for a lot of things. Especially things that take 10 to 15 minutes. That's right I'm talking about commuting to work.

Obsession

2008-10-23T15:39:00.002-05:00

Lately I can't stop looking at pictures of the Mercedes Benz E63 Wagon. It's so unassuming. Imagine pulling up to just about any sports car out there and being able to blow them away. With 509 hp this car can do just that.

Ferrell back!

2008-08-14T10:12:00.000-05:00

Recently saw Step Brothers. Glad to say that the John C. Reilly, Will Ferrell comedy was amazing. Back to Anchorman territory, which is mindless stupidity. I'm always a sucker for that.

Hmmmm...

2008-07-02T15:12:00.002-05:00

Am I the only person that sees a similarity?

Hoopla and 25 Years of Fallon

2008-07-01T15:12:00.003-05:00

Just got both of these books. Both awesome.

Hoopla has that F you design to it. It's like they're almost daring you to read it. But you should read it.

25 Years of Fallon is what you'd expect from Fallon. Nicely art directed, easy to look at, incredibly inspirational.

Two books definitely worthy checking out.

Honda Pilot

2008-06-20T14:29:00.000-05:00

Pretty good auto ad.

Why I love Grand Theft Auto

2008-06-20T14:25:00.000-05:00

Celtics Win!

2008-06-20T14:19:00.002-05:00

I'm happy for KG, that's a good guy right there. When I lived in Minneapolis I got to know his sister on a professional level. She was really nice and treated everyone she encountered with respect. I can only assume her brother is the same.

On the same note, Celtics fans, really? That was the fastest filling Bandwagon I've ever seen.

My new sandal shoes.

2008-06-16T17:00:00.003-05:00

I just bought a pair of Keen sandal shoes. They're horribly ugly, like a bull dog, and I love them. These sandals are perfect for anything. Recently I was at my girlfriends lake house. They were perfect for the soggy lawn around the water. My feet stayed dry.

Are they as great as my Rainbow flippers? Not sure yet, but they're damn close. It's like wearing a tennis shoe that's water friendly.

And I realize these have been around for a while, but I have a size 15, so it takes a while to get them in my size.

Stupid and Disturbing

2008-05-01T09:27:00.002-05:00

Going to sleep last night I started watching a movie called Hard Candy. First off I think I'm the only person who doesn't like Ellen Page, she bothers me. Nerd in the back of class who's cute and knows she's smart, deadly combo. I also think I'm the only person in the US that didn't love Juno. I liked Juno, but I thought it was one of those classic over written comedies. The dialogue, in my opinion, was way too cute and smarmy to be real. Seems like at the end of every sentence Ellen Page delivered some sort of quip. That got old to me. I'm not saying Juno is poorly written, it's not. But I do feel like it was over written. Still liked it, but I just wasn't gushing praise.

Back to HC. I love disturbing movies. This one, seemed to be disturbing for it's own good. By the end I think I wanted the creep to get away, in fact Ellen Page became the creep. Not a good movie and poorly directed, to many cuts that colors cross and blur out the lens.

I Am (Not So) Legend

2008-04-28T10:00:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I think Hollywood rolls out a movie just so they can show Manhattan void of people. I am Legend is one type of movie. Predictable plot that basically centered around New York City being empty. Vanilla Sky was a similar vehicle. Complicated plot that basically was developed to show NYC empty.

For an empty crazy New York give me Escape from New York or The Warriors.

Chicken Dance Creator Dead

2008-04-10T09:40:00.003-05:00

The man who created the chicken dance is dead.

Washing Machine

2008-03-28T10:21:00.001-05:00

This Dog done grown up.

2008-03-28T10:09:00.003-05:00

Tati at about 5 months.

I'm beginning to realize her energy level is inversely related to my laziness level. The lazier I am, the crazier she is.

File Under Amazing

2008-03-14T22:52:00.000-05:00

Wish I came up with this.

PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-17T10:19:00.001-06:00

My girlfriend and I got a Wiemaraner puppy, this is Tatiana. She's not home yet, but will be soon.

Bacon

2007-12-06T13:58:00.001-06:00

Just another day in my life.

2007-10-23T14:24:00.000-05:00

More France.

2007-08-15T10:37:00.001-05:00

Anyone...

2007-08-08T13:45:00.001-05:00

want to buy me a new Ipod? I'm getting real sick of the shuffle.

Francais

2007-08-01T09:13:00.001-05:00

Watching the game...

2007-08-01T09:08:00.000-05:00

and I noticed something that made me chuckle. During Milwaukee Brewers home games they run a promotion called walk off Wednesdays. Here's how you win, every Wednesday home game, go to the Brewers clubhouse store at Miller Park, buy a jersey t-shirt of your favorite player, and if that player hits A WALK-OFF HOME RUN you win a free autographed bat. I'm no mathematician, but the odds of actually winning this have to be worse than winning the big lotto. Perfect example of running a promotion for the sake of running a promotion. My guess is no one wins this thing the entire season.

France

2007-07-11T10:52:00.001-05:00

Just got back from France. Pretty epic journey, just over two weeks. It was a family vacation of sorts, yes 30 year olds go on family vacations. The American Laughlin clan reunited with our French relatives, the Saby's.

The visit started in Paris, then went to Lyon, on to the countryside of the Ardeche, back to Lyon, back to Paris. We rented two cars, a Citroen Picasso

and a Renault Traffic.

Pictures to follow.

deskSPACE

2007-06-20T09:20:00.000-05:00

Just got a new computer at work. MacBook, brand new. Happy to be working on a laptop again. Quick trip to the Apple Store on Michigan Ave and I have laptop and monitor link. Never tried this before, turns out I've been missing a lot. What does the future look like? Something like this...

Soprano's Ending

2007-06-14T09:10:00.001-05:00

I liked it. What I really want to know is how was is supposed to end? Not to toot my own horn, but I watched Sopranos from day one. My junior year of college, I watched the very first episode in Winters room. Why do I mention this? Because if you've watched the show that long you know it's not about twists, or surprises. It's about a mob family and how they deal with everyday life. That's what the show has always been about, and the ending said that to perfection.

Cool Map

2007-06-14T09:07:00.001-05:00

Just goes to show you how freaking wealthy the USA is. This map shows each state in relation to the how much money they generate compared to the GNP of another nation. So California generates as much money as the GNP of France. Pretty incredible.

The hardest to find 15 minutes of TV.

2007-05-29T14:18:00.000-05:00

Eric and Tim's Awesome Show, Great Job is a difficult show to tune into. It's fifteen minutes and seems to never be on. Yet it produces gems like these...

Thanks to Youtube and Tony Zimney.

Happy Memorial Day

2007-05-29T13:48:00.000-05:00

Some incredible quotes, with a couple exceptions.(From Atomic email)

"I have known war as few men now living know it. It's very destructiveness on both friend and foe has rendered it useless as a means of settling international disputes." -- Douglas MacArthur

"I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity." -- Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind." -- John F. Kennedy

"I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in." -- George McGovern

"People don't start wars, governments do." -- Ronald Reagan

"All war represents a failure of diplomacy." -- Tony Benn

"War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace." -- Thomas Mann

"After each war there is a little less democracy to save." -- Brooks Atkinson

"What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world." -- Robert E. Lee

"War is what happens when language fails." -- Margaret Atwood

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." -- George W. Bush

"The solution to Iraq -- an Iraq that can govern itself, sustain itself and defend itself -- is more than a military mission. Precisely the reason why I sent more troops into Baghdad." -- George W. Bush

"To delight in war is a merit in the soldier, a dangerous quality in the captain, and a positive crime in the statesman." -- George Santayana

Two Great Interviews

2007-05-24T14:13:00.001-05:00

I enjoy funny TV shows. These two guys are responsible for two shows I thoroughly enjoyed.

The first is Bob Odenkirk, creator of Mr. Show as well as the Ben Stiller Show. Some of the stuff from the Stiller show is a bit dated now, but at the time I remember thinking is was awesome.

Next was a show perfect for HBO, unfortunately HBO didn't think so. Louis CK's show Lucky Louie. Read his interview.

Oh Great*

2007-05-23T10:41:00.000-05:00

*Said in a huffy sarcastic manner.

Seacaucus, New Jersey was the site of major disppointment for the Milwaukee Bucks last night. See we were all set to get the number 3 pick in the NBA Draft until some ping pong balls said otherwise. Falling to number 6 we're now set to get a moderately disappointing player. Which seems to be the Bucks MO, draft someone horrible.

Larry Harris took on the look of someone who has no business being an NBA GM, he appeared nervous as usual when put in front of the spot light.

Favorite Show of 2006-7

2007-05-22T09:34:00.000-05:00

Watch this and it's pretty obvious why 30 Rock is the shit--Alec Baldwin. As we no doubt already know, Baldwin enjoys making phone calls to a certain younger Baldwin. This was not good, primarily cause it made him want to quit the show. That would've been very bad. It's funny this seems to be the perfect role for Baldwin to play. Part Glengary Glenross, part Canteen Boy sketch.

"A-B-C" "Coffee is for closers"

As the 2007 TV season comes to close please take stock for next year. And give 30 Rock a chance.

My Travel Map

2007-05-04T10:27:00.001-05:00

The 2007 Milwaukee Brewers

2007-03-27T16:48:00.000-05:00

88-74 will be their final record. Making the playoffs for the first time since 1982. At least I hope. Ben Sheets will return to form and the addition of Jeff Suppan will help their bullpen stay fresh through out the season.

Geico Cave Man To Star in TV Show

2007-03-06T15:11:00.000-06:00

I don't know what to think of this. At one point it's the ultimate compliment. An ad so loved that they decide to use the caveman in a TV show. Another part of me is sad because Phil Hartman is dead and he made the caveman so beloved as the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. I'd really like to see Hartman give this life, unfortunately his insane wife wouldn't let that happen.

I hope the Geico Caveman becomes a little more fun loving. This guy kind of has a chip on his shoulder. Hopefully he'll be happy with his new found caveman fame.

So Long

2007-03-06T15:01:00.000-06:00

So the Packers let go of Ahman Green. He signed with the Houston Texans for a guarenteed 6.5 million. That's what everyone forgets with the current NFL. It's not how long they sign for, it's how much they're guarenteed. Looks like the Packers felt he wasn't worth the trouble.

Green was fantastic for the Green and Gold and I'm gonna miss him. His powering running seemed to suit the style of the team from 2001-2004. In fact he out performed even Favre those seasons. He became the face of the franchise. Too bad running backs only last a couple seasons.

What Your Mom Would Feed You If Your Mom Was A Man

2006-12-28T10:36:00.000-06:00

That's the ending to my favorite campaign of 2006. Combo's those mysterious pretzel pizza concoctions were just dying for something as hilarious as this. But for an ending as good as, "What your mom would feed you if your mom was a man," you better have a great set up. And these do. Amazing casting, great director and the perfect punch line. There's nothing else to say.

Another campaign that needs mentioning is Jack's Link Beef Jerky. How do you feed your wild side? Eating beef jerky of course, and messin' with sasquatch. Like the Combo's this falls into the category of, "Stuff I Wish I'd Done."

Chomp, Chomp, Chomp

2006-12-18T11:13:00.000-06:00

As a life long Green Bay Packer fan my favorite player has generally been one who wears green and gold. Favre, Butler, Sterling Sharpe, White, and of course Chuck Cecil. Will this season it's all changed. I've got a new favorite player. And his name...
Adam "Pacman" Jones. Why? Because he has gotten arrested twice for punching women at clubs, and he's a fine football player. But his name is what really gets me cause it generates quotes like this.

"I bet 25 coaches would have thrown Pacman Jones off their team for the stuff he pulled in the last couple of years, and I'm not sure I wouldn't have,'' I said to Jeff Fisher on Sunday. Said Fisher: "I know. I understand. But he's maturing. And let me tell you, Pacman is going to be a force in this game.'' What a tour de force game he played to beat the Jags: an 83-yard interception return for touchdown, a 70-yard kickoff return, half a sack, three passes defended.

Kill Yourself

2006-11-29T17:01:00.000-06:00

The Great Burger Adventure--Hot Doug's

2006-11-02T17:08:00.000-06:00

This place isn't a burger place, it's a Hot Dog place(deal with it). Specifically an encased meat emporium, or so the sign says when you enter. I'm a fan of cooked sausage. Especially that of the German variety. Sure Hot Dogs are alright, but I like something with a bit more substance. If you're like me then you'll wan to check out Hot Doug's.

For example, on my trip I didn't get anywhere near a hot dog. Sure the place has them, a variety in fact. And they're cheap, $1.50. I, however, had my eye on the "Game of the Week" sausage, Elk and Bacon sausage. Yeah Elk. Let me say this was perhaps the greatest culinary exploration ever. The elk and bacon combined to make a perfectly smoked sausage. Flavor-a-plenty. I washed this down with the Zaza Pachulia. A knockwurst wrapped in bacon. Very good, but after the other bacon-meat combo it was a bit much. On its own, probably very good.

Next time I go I'll have to go either Friday for Saturday for the French fries fried in duck fat.

Favorite Show of 2005

2006-10-24T13:48:00.000-05:00

Stella had a brief run. How is it a show like The Mind of Mencia or Life According to Jim can make it, but a funny show like Stella dies like plague ravaged rat? The collective taste of America is about as desirable as gangrenous foot trapped in a shoe two sizes too small. Maybe if enough people buy season one we'll see a return. I'm not holding my breath. But hopefully we can get another quirky hospital drama, cause there aren't enough of those.

The Great Burger Adventure--Boston Blackies

2006-10-23T15:11:00.001-05:00

Chicago has a lot of great places to eat. Just like Isaac Newton set out to discover America, I'm setting out to discover the finest burger this city has to offer. I start at a place that's close to my heart Boston Blackies.

Blackies, from my understanding is a Chicago institution.(aside: you hear this a lot--Chicago institution and it's a stupid. As there are more Corner Bakery's here than anything esle. Is that an institution Chicago? No it's a chain.) Anyways it's a great place that's been around a while, as it should be. Inside it's pretty simple; bar, booths and tables. You wait in line normally, but it's worth it.

The menu is simple. Get the burger. It's the first thing you see. I went Blackie burger. Hamburger covered in fried onions and bacon. Delicious. What I really like about the place is they're ready for you. No waiting. You sit down, order and the food arrives promptly. The burger is cooked to perfection. You say, "medium rare" you get medium rare. The onions are buttery and melt in your mouth. Bacon adds it's unique taste and the ground beef is fresh, like the cow is in the back and they shave the meet off of it.

If you're in Chicago and want a burger seek out Blackies.

They Don't Make 'Em like this Anymore--Night Court

2006-10-23T12:53:00.000-05:00

There was a point in time when John Larroquette was at the top of the TV world. Unfortunately those days are gone. A man as talented as Larroquette can only last so long before the fire burns out, the laughter quiets and the world turns it back on the man who made it laugh so much. Who could forget Second Sight, and most importantly Night Court. One of the best shows to ever take place inside the walls of a Manhatten Arraignment Courthouse.

The magic of Night Court was Dan Fielding, and we all know who played him. Menudo had Ricky Martin, Night Court had Dan Fielding. Of course there's a supporting cast.

I'm a big Harry Anderson fan. Who isn't? A dual threat. You see his magic and you think, "Can he do any more?" The answer is, yes he can. He's also a comedian! I couldn't think of anyone better to play a judge. In fact I'd love for Harry Anderson to continue the judging. Maybe during a daytime trial show. The People's Court starring Harry Anderson. Then when he's supposed to hit the gavel he hits a rubber chicken. Yuka...Yuka.

Judge Harold Stone is supported by court clerk MacIntosh "Mac" Robinson who's got the heart of a teddy bear. Secretly I always wanted Mac and Roz to get it on. I mean come on, similar backgrounds and you always thought Mac tired of his Vietnamese wife. It never happened. Man that Roz was one tough cookie.

Which brings me to Bull. If I was casting a movie where I needed a dopey baliff who was child like in appearence as well as mentality, I'd give Richard Moll a call. Probably the next best character on the show, after of course Dan Fielding.

In the end, Night Court, was one of the best second tier shows of the eighties. The 90's had Wings, the 80's had Night Court.

I am Lindsey Buckingham

2006-10-16T22:37:00.000-05:00

And I am cooler than you.

A Night At the Movies

2006-10-16T11:35:00.000-05:00

Last night I went to see The Departed. An amazing violent, yet hilarious movie about undercover cops and rats. Great movie. Loved every second of it, and most importantly the big named actors seemed to disappear and their characters actually came to life. I recommend this movie to anyone who likes good movies. In Scorcese terms, it's more Goodfellas then Casino. And it's sure to go down as one of his better pictures.

Now comes the complaining. As a recent resident of Chicago I decided to drive to the local cinema. AMC River East 21. A monsterous theater. While parking I see a sign that says 8 dollar special. Think ehhh not too bad. Well it was 8 bucks for a half hour. COME ON. Then when me and the three other folks I'm with go to buy a ticket to a 715 show we find out it's sold out. Fine, we'll do 815. Then the cashier explains that the validation won't work cause it's only for four hours. He tells me to leave and come back. I'm like sorry buddy that's not going to happen. Oh and the validation brings the price down to a reasonable 13 dollars. Alas that was wishful thinking. I end up paying 26 bucks to park, and a total of four tickets cost 36 bucks. Not to mention the 27 spent on popcorn and soda for all of us. So all in all for four people to enjoy a movie in downtown Chicago on a Sunday night the price tag to 89 bucks.

And you wonder why the movie business is doing so horrible.

Big city life

2006-10-04T10:17:00.000-05:00

I moved to Chicago. Now I'm here, officially.

My new apartment is in Greektown. So I'm never too far away from a gyro. Those who know me, know that's a good thing. I'm also conveniently right across the street from a Staples Office Superstore. I've never been to a Staples, but I think I'm going to start burning through office supplies. Probably go get some pens. Maybe a couple ink jet cartridges.

I've never lived in a city this big. Minneapolis is decent sized, Milwakee too. Easton Pennsylvania is small. So it's taking some time to get used to it. The one observation I've had is this, it takes longer to do everything. Going to dinner, going to the store, it just takes a bit longer. Fortunately I have a car. Everyone is like you don't need a car, you don't need a car. Well you don't but it's certainly handy. Although I already got a 50 dollar parking ticket. So go figure.

I'm here. Come visit.

They Say the Space Shuttle Launched In 1981

2006-09-07T09:59:00.000-05:00

They were wrong. The first shuttle was actually launched in the late 70s by none other than Hugo Drax. Criminal mastermind and nemesis to one James Bond. What can be said about Moonraker that already hasn't. It's by far the most entertaining Bond movie of all time. Good, far from it, only one word can be used--GREAT. Ladies and Gentlemen an ode to my favorite Bond film Moonraker.

What makes a Bond movie great? Well we need to start out with a completely far fetched premise. Hugo Drax steals a space shuttle made by Drax Industries from the bottom of the Ocean. He intends to fly it to outer space where his master race will prosper, grow and then someday journey back to earth after the poison gas kills all the inferior folks left behind.

Then you need a ridiculously named woman to entertain and assist Mr. Bond. Enter Dr. Holly Goodhead, astronaut and CIA operative sent by the US to assist in the investigation of Drax Industries.

Next an evil henchman is needed to assist our villian. Moonraker really hits it out of the park in this category. Jaws is mean, he's tall and he's got metal teeth.

But every Bond movie has these elements. What really take Moonraker to another stratosphere(sorry) is the over the top special effects. They just don't make them like this anymore. Laser beam fights? I wonder if NASA had this planned for the first shuttle launch.

Put all these elements together add the thespian Roger Moore and you have a movie that not only hasn't stood the test time, it's morphed into the greatest comedies of the last thirty years. Hopefully the new Bond, Daniel Craig, will use some of the class and sophistication Roger Moore displayed years ago.

Idle Time

2006-09-07T09:29:00.000-05:00

Despite the urging of music critics everywhere, I recently purchased Outkast's new Idlewild album. And guess what it's pretty good, even though I haven't read a single positive review of it, save Rollingstone. My review is positive as well. It's what you've come to expect from Outkast. Great beats, interesting lyrics, and enjoyable. So why all the negative reviews?

My theory, a conspiracy. These music critics hate the idea that Big Boi and Andre 3000 work seperately but release the album as Outkast. If you want what you've come to expect form Outkast then Idlewild will deliver. If you want the answer to the worlds hunger problems you may be disappointed.

Starburst

2006-08-21T14:28:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the simpliest things give you the greatest pleasure. For me it doesn't get much better then the starburst feature on Itunes. You know what I'm talking about, that button you push to get all the crazy colors and movement. I love that button. Sometimes I just sit in my apartment alone and turn off all the lights, blast music, and just watch as a story unfolds on my screen.

Holla for Lolla

2006-08-13T20:18:00.001-05:00

Went to Lollapooloza (sp.?) this year. For those who don't know it's held in Grant Park. Just east of the Loop in downtown Chicago. Pictures include Ryan Adams talking about eggs, very underwhelming performance. If this guy would lose the attitude and just play music his career would soar. But, he hasn't done that. Also, a picture of Ween just after sunset. They played the Mollusk while fireworks were going off, very brown. The centerpiece of the festival was Buckingham Fountain. There's a phot of that right at sunset. Gnarls Barkley wore their all whites for Chicago. And a bunch of Flaming Lips. Imagine if Carrot Top rocked and you'd have an idea of a Flaming Lips show. Kind of silly, but they do play some great music.

Lolla=fun time but a ton of money. 170 or so for the tickets and probably 200 or so on beer, transportation, food, etc. But I guess that's the price you pay for concerts.

V for Awesome

2006-08-08T09:37:00.000-05:00

Watching V for Vendetta last night I thought to myself, "It must be so hard to act behind a mask." And to be able to pull it off is even more impressive. You saw emotion, fear, and confidence without a face. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who hasn't seen it. Great cast--Portman, Hugo Weaving, and John Hurt. Not to mention a great story.

*** 1/2 out of ****

BOYCOTT!!

2006-08-08T08:33:00.000-05:00

I'm calling for a boycott. McBlog has just linked me as "Jon Complains." I take exception to this. Turns out if you aren't in line with McBlogs view on Thom Yorke you are relegated to negative status.

Well McBlog's dystopian world of propaganda and cult of personality is about to come crumbling down. Cause over here at mediameatball we're a democracy, and we're going on a boycott. Free speech McBlog, it's in the Bill of Rights. Look it up under Rights, Bill of.

If you need more reasons to boycott McBlog allow me to shed some light on the subject. He was personally responsible for having McDonalds take the McRib off the menu. I know, OUTRAGEOUS. His crimes against humanity have not gone unnoticed. Prior to his McRib campaign, McBlog made motions to have sesame seeds removed from all buns. Turns out this guy hates sesame seeds. WHAT?

Sesame seeds, the McRib, what's next?

Randomness

2006-08-07T11:25:00.000-05:00

--No longer have a parking spot. Got kicked out, as I explained, July 31st. There was no incident. Just handed my keys and remote in like nothing happened. Figured this woman could send my account to collections or something, don't want to mess with it. Ask my friend Aaron about collections.

--Not a big fan of parking meters.

--Seems like the Brewers playoff chances are looking real grim. Despite the fact the National League is abysmal. Oh well, next year.

--I need to go buy the new Tom Petty and Johnny Cash albums.

--Downloaded a new song by The Who. I hope I can take this as an indication that their new album is going to be a big surprise.

--I'm moving to Chicago. Can't friggin wait. Milwaukee is a fine fine town, but I need a bustling metropolis. Plus the pizza down there is substantially better.

--Pirates of the Caribbean 2 is basically a vehicle to get you to number 3. Even so, it's still pretty good. Looking forward to seeing Keith Richards as Johnny Depp's dad. What's funny is this movie almost never happened. Disney was close to firing Depp during production of the first one cause he wouldn't budge when it came to playing a drunk pirate. Credit goes to Depp, and Disney for taking a chance. Wonder if it paid off?

--Look for a post about my trip to Lollapalooza coming soon.

As Movies Get Worse and Worse, Reviews Get Better and Better

2006-07-26T09:52:00.000-05:00

Stumbled upon this site the other day. It's called the Four Word Film Review. Pretty obvious what this site is all about.

New Link Alert

2006-07-25T13:11:00.000-05:00

Hey folks, if you're like me you loved baseball cards growing up. Well check out the baseball card blog. It's a nice walk down memory lane.

Help Me Order Indian.

2006-07-25T10:21:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not I've gone through almost 30 years of life and I'd never had Indian food. That is until about a month ago. And I think I fell in love. Problem is I ate all this food during a production shoot. Grabbing spoon full here and spoon full there I had no idea what this mystery goo was. Now I want more, except I don't know what to order. So please help me. What's good, and what's bad? The only thing I remember was this like meat filled pastry thing. Similar to an egg roll, but more like a triangle shape. Advise away please.

Feeling a little empty in New Yorke

2006-07-19T11:03:00.000-05:00

I burned the new Thom Yorke CD yesterday. The first CD from the lead singer of the greatest band on planet earth; Radiohead. Upon first impressions I'm gonna go ahead and give it the old Ehh. Allow me to break down the varying level of Eh.

Eh--It's alright.
Ehh--It's alright, probably could've been more.
Ehhh--No so alright.
Ehhhh--Definitely not so alright.

Eraser--Ehh. It's alright. I like it. I don't hate it, but after listening too it, I just got mad. Mad cause I want a Radiohead album, not a Thom Yorke album. Eraser is in the valley, while Radiohead is in the mountains. Eraser is flat, Radiohead is complex and challenging. Thom Yorke definitely needs his bandmates to really push the limits of the human mind.

Just for fun I listened to Kid A right after the Eraser. Not even close. So while I recommend the new Yorke for a listen or two, I'm really just disappointed it's been almost three years since a new Radiohead album has hit my ears.

I lika de football.

2006-07-10T10:56:00.000-05:00

Congrats to Italy on winning the world cup. Not a very compelling team in my opinion. If this world cup was a heavy weight fight Italy was the fighter that looked like crap, got the most bruises, but still found some way to win. You never want to see a game go to penalty kicks but this one did. Strange way to lose, but even stranger was the ejection of the greatest player of the last 10 years, Zidane. Here is what happened.

Even stranger still is that this event is probably going to be more memorable then the outcome of the game itself. This is the iconic type of thing that can only happen at the world cup. Zidane's meltdown will forever be mentioned with the 'Hand of God' and Baggio's missed penalty kick. Losing his cool meant France lost the game. But it also means Zidane will live on forever. Cause long after he is dead his action will be discussed. Dirty, yes. But so captivating.

What is Organic?

2006-07-06T15:42:00.000-05:00

This is where I strike a nerve with Farmer Drew. But I'm so sick and tired of looking every which way and seeing organic this, organic that. It's become so confusing I need to ask, what is organic? Sure, sure it's the growing and cultivating of foods without the use of pesticides. I get that. But what I don't understand is how food giants such as Frito-Lay can now claim they have an organic corn chip. Doesn't the whole idea of organic sabotage any organic claim Frito-Lay can make?

Like so many words with good intentions, Organic has fallen victim to one of the greatest menacing forces in America. Marketing. Whole Food, Trader Joe's, and local Co-ops have turned the word organic into a unique selling proposition and ran with it. The fact of the matter is who is policing this? Who makes sure something is organic? Even on Wikipedia's entry for Organic certification it clearly states the term is used to market the product of organic.

I'm not ripping on organic foods. I love them. Trader Joe's is one of my favorite stores, but that's simply because they manage to deliver this so called organic product at prices I can easily stomach. Go into any Whole Foods, and you'll be paying an arm and a leg for something that you could probably find in isle 5 of your local Piggly Wiggly.

Hopefully in the future the word organic will actually mean something. Rather than a buzz word to get soccer moms to shop at Whole Foods so little Bobby can grow up big and strong.

I consider this matter resolved.

2006-06-23T09:02:00.000-05:00

Wow, Wipeout is perhaps my most responded to post in the history of media meatball. So I thought maybe I could tap into some more of you responders. However, this one is a tad longer in description. I need your help. Am I an asshole, or is this Christine Miller a bitch.

About a month and a half ago I was given a motorcycle to use. Yes, another motorcycle story. I put this bike in my parking spot. It took up no additional space. In fact it was in harmoney with my hard. Two motorized vehicle, one spot, perfection. Well I get a notice on it. Says call me, Christine. So I call her. I politely explain it's not my bike, it takes up no space, and it won't be down there on a regular basis. Once in a while I say. She tells me, nope can't do it. I either pay for it, or I can't keep it down there. $75 for a month, FOR A BIKE THAT TAKES UP NO SPACE.

I immediately remove it, and give it to a co worker. He keeps it in his garage. Something comes up, he needs me to take it for 48 hours. I'm like, F it, it's two days, I'll drive it to work, the only time it'll be down there is when Christine Miller aka Satan won't be working. Well that didn't work. No more phone calls, no notices on the bike, just a bill, a three month bill for $225. So I call her back, of course she's not there. And I leave a tersely worded message. Saying I just removed the bike, there was a situation where I needed to keep it down there for 48 hours, it won't be in the garage again, I consider this matter resolved, Thank You.

I consider this matter resolved. Those five words cost me a parking spot. I get a notice in the mail, no call again, saying that "due to my blatant disregard to the parking garage rules I'm no longer welcome to park there as of July, 31st." Now I'm reflecting: was I jerk? I didn't think so. I mean I pay them $300 every quarter to park there. A bike was in my spot for maybe a grand total of 7 days, and now I owe them $225? I come to the conclusion that she must've perceived me as being arrogant and rude, although that was never the intention.

I call her, leave a message. Say, "I'm sorry. I didn't set out to get you upset, or get kicked out of the parking garage. I simply didn't understand being billed for something and not getting another warning. So I'm calling to apologize, if that means I can still park there great. Or if we're past that point I just wanted to say I'm sorry I was rude, and we'll just move on. But please call me, I think if I explained the circumstances you'd understand." Nice right?

Well then the fun begins. She calls me back, and of course I'm in the car. Not a good phone talking place. I again start off very nicely, "Christine I'm sorry if you thought I was being rude, that was never my intent. I just wanted to talk about this but it was voicemail, and I think you just misunderstood me." Here, "You were very rude. I've never meet anyone like you in all my life. And I don't know what business you're in but you clearly need to work on your social skills. This is ridiculous. And what situation could arise? I told you parking the bike isn't kosher, but you did it anyway." Me, "Yes and for that I'm sorry. I didn't follow the rules, but it won't happen again." Here, "and ther your message was just so rude, I consider this mattered resolved, that was such a rude thing to say. I had to play the message to my boss to determine what to do."

So now I'm getting pissed again. I mean I'm apologizing here. What else is there to do? So I'm like Christine please, I understand I was rude. I try one more feeble attempt at an apology. It's as if I said nothing. She goes right back to her diatribe about social skills behavior, blah blah blah. At which point I'm like, OK Christine I hate to interrupt you, but one of two things is going to happen. You're either going to accept my apology, or you're not. Probably rude, but whatever at this point she was being a total bitch. Such a bitch in fact my girlfriend was like you need to end this conversation. So I say you're either going to accept my apology or you're not. She starts going back into this parking thing. Talking about how no one has ever been this rude with this parking lot situation.

Click. It's over.

Ok, so maybe my message was perceived as rude. But come on, this lady clearly has problems. It's over now, and I need to find somewhere new to park. Oh well.

WIPE OUT!

2006-06-19T21:12:00.000-05:00

Today I took Dirt School. Where you learn how to ride a dirt bike. Well the morning session went great, then they let us out on the track. I was riding confidently. Until I took a corner a little too hot. I flew off the front of my handle bars and landed on my side. Then my head bashed into the grass. I'm going to be so sore tomorrow.

Genius

2006-06-07T11:49:00.001-05:00

Spotting a great ad is easy. It should make you fall over writhing in pain from laughter. Ladies and Gentlemen, Real Men of Genius. Originally started as a radio campaign, some genius decided it would be a good idea to put them on TV. What an idea. As someone who works in the industry, I hope to someday do something as great as these. I'll keep you all posted on my quest. In the mean time enjoy an ice bold Bud Light, and these spots.

Picture Pages

2006-06-04T18:08:00.000-05:00

Milwaukee Art Museum, photo taken after a fresh snow. For those who don't live here this is the new face to Milwaukee. Replacing rusted out industrial wastelands of a bygone era. This is the symbol of rebirth. If you don't think Milwaukee is a city on the rebound you haven't been here in a while.

For the love of Sneakers

2006-05-31T15:39:00.000-05:00

I've always loved sneakers. As a kid I seem to enjoy going to get new sneakers way more then going to the toy store. The shoe store guy even knew us by name. And once every 5 to 6 months he knew my brother and I were headed there for a new pair of shoes, to replace our slightly less then new current pair. But back then you had to settle with what he had. If he didn't have the new orange and white Bo Jackson shoes you just saw in the Bo Diddley commerical, you weren't going to get them. Now that's all changed.

You can get any pair of shoes you want. Ebay, Zappos, you name it you can find it. I could even find that pair of Bo Jackson's I wanted in 1991 never worn, brand new. But what's even more impressive to me, is that now you can make your own shoes. Literally. Just go to NikeID.com and pick a style you like. In a matter of minutes, or hours if you ponder over the details like I did. A pair of retro Nike Air Max's with metallic silver as the base color, a red swoosh, and red lining is what I decided upon. They look amazing, but I have to wait three to four weeks for some small child in Asia to make them. I'll call him Ngyen. Please little Ngyen make my shoe good. Love it long time.

So in honor of my rediscovery of the Air Max, and to celebrate my love of the sneaker I'm going to go ahead and list some of my favorites over the years. And in no particular order.

Chuck Taylor All Star (Converse)--Had a pair when I was 10 and have a pair now. Classic sneaker.

Off the Wall (Vans)--Classic skater sneaker. Be it the slip on checker board, or the lace up with the squiggly line, both are great.

Tennis Pump (Reebok)--Maybe my favorite shoe of 8th grade. The pump was actually a tennis ball. Like it was fuzzy like a tennis ball. Plus the pump actually worked pretty well.

Air 180, Mr. Robinson's neighborhood (Nike)--Nike's futile attempt at another pump. For some reason Nike couldn't get the pump right the first time so they tried again. This had a guage so you could pump around the ankle, or the arch. Pretty cool, but these were uncomfortable.

BK Knights (British Knights)--Who could forget BK Knights. The snake skin. These really said something about you. Like you wished you were black.

My Adidas (Adidas)-- Remember Run DMC jumping on stage with Aerosmith? Remember their shoes? Yep, no laces. Adidas rule, but they went into the dark ages during the 90's.

Andre Agassi Years (Nike)-- Nike made some of the coolest tennis shoes in the early 90s. It's too bad they can't repeat. It's been a while since Nike came out with a truely hot tennis shoe. Plus this was probably one of the best ad campaigns. Everyting seemed to line up for Nike in the 90's.

Cross Trainer Bo Jackson edition (Nike)--Not only did he invent a line of shoe, he also became perhaps the most important spokesperson about shoes besides Jordan. And now, no one even remembers him. Bo Jackson too bad he got hurt.

The Original (Reebok)--Remember when Reebok first came out? I feel like it was around 85 or so. I just remember how comfortable they were.

The Air Bubble (Nike)--The first shoe with an air bubble.

Converse React Juice (Converse)--I think they made a couple models, but who could forget Grand Ma Ma?

Those weird ass leg strength shoe's(Strength)--Swear to god I had a buddy, who was white, who could dunk like a maniac he said he got this ability by the these shoes.

Original Pump (Nike)--Reebok was not the first. It was Nike. Remember that banana bump and the huge peice of plastic molding on the back?

Zoom Air (Nike)--Around the time of the Atlanta Olympics Nike came out with a badass running shoe that had a metallic red swoosh.

Air Jordan (Nike)--Pick any pair, before 1998 of course, and you'll find an instant classic. Each shoe sets the bar for every other shoe to beat. No shoe has come close to the Jordan line from 1984-1998. No shoe.

X-Men 3

2006-05-31T08:40:00.000-05:00

1.5 out of 4

Wow, was this a bad movie. The only thing that carried it was seeing Rebecca Romijn side nude. You know side nude, you see her whole side of body sans clothes, but none of the good stuff. It's a movie trick. That scene really did things for me, ummm, we'll leave it at that.

They should've just ended this series with 2. That was much, much better. Actually it's my favorite of the three. Probably because the magnificant Brian Cox is in it. If you don't know who that is, well, you've missed some great movies.

Right now, X Men ranks pretty low on the Comic book movies I like. Although the mutants should be happy they're even on the list.

(SPOILER: If you want to see this movie don't read)

Here's what I don't get. If Logan wanted to save Jean why not just get that mutant boy who turns mutants into humans to stand by Jean. Then all her powers would be gone.

WISN Channel 12 Can Go Straight to Heck

2006-05-25T15:38:00.000-05:00

Frustration is trying to watch the season finale of LOST, only to have half the picture cut off by a severe weather warning. In the past 10 years, weather has turned into sensationalism. Usually it doesn't cross paths with me, but last night sensational weather and I met, and it was less then pleasant.

Local TV stations have somehow decided that the only thing people care about is the weather. It's probably true. With advent of the internet, CNN, and about a billion jack ass bloggers, people get their news elsewhere. The only thing these local stations have to hang their hats on is weather. It's literally the only thing they can own.

I don't know about you, but my nipples don't get hard when I hear Advance Dopler 9000 Storm Xtremetrac. But obviously other peoples do, cause every news station in America now focuses it's effort, and advertising around these features. Some networks have even resorted to boasting that they're the first to give the weather of any station.

So please TV stations. When it's the season finale to one of my favorite shows please spare me with the stormtrac garbage.

Here We Go Again

2006-05-24T10:32:00.000-05:00

I’m taking Crispin to task. This time for the god awful low ego admissions ad, which is horribly misguided and annoying. As a Volkswagen owner I assure you that this is not why I bought the car. I was looking at SUV’s and then drove the Passat and loved it. And besides by making this commercial isn't VW saying, "hey we're a bunch of smug wannabe's."

I guess I’m just tired of this, what your car says about you, cliché. It’s been so overplayed, and I would think as manipulators of pop culture, Crispin would know this and not go there. But they did.

Crispin stands for all that’s good about advertising. They do funny spots, they’re fresh, and original. So it’s annoying that a place with such a wealth of advertising ability is going this route. It’s even more disappointing after those excellent car crash ads that just ran a few weeks ago. Those were good.

I think Crispin needs to lower their ego emissions, and start doing ads that matter again. Oh, and stop ripping off my headlines.

Picture Pages

2006-05-23T20:21:00.000-05:00

Remember this show with Bill Cosby. Picture pages picture pages open up your picture pages. I loved it. Usually came right after You Can't Do That on Television. The pen that made noises. Amazing. I thought why not name my new blog feature in honor of Bill Cosby.

This is a three pronged effort. One this will force me to make more blog entries. Two it will make me take more pictures. Something I enjoy and want to get better at. Three it will make me share my iphoto library. Some interesting pictures are in there. I'll try to do this at least once a week. But I've been meaning to start this for weeks, only to get around to it tonight. We'll see how regular this occurs.

This picture was taken at Austin City Limits Music Festival in September of 2005. Zilker park in Austin, TX is hot and dusty during the fest. And this is the only tree of significance on the grounds. This picture gets a lot better when you imagine the Drive By Truckers playing in the background.

Golf

2006-05-22T12:12:00.000-05:00

I've played about six rounds so far this year. And one problem still exists. I suck. When will I get better? Will I ever get better? Probably not. But what hasn't changed is the fact that this game is fun to play.

Recently I had new grips put onto the shafts of my Ping Eye 2 Irons. To people who don't play golf this probably is about as entertaining as putting gas in your car, but trust me this is awesome. My old grips were all slippery, now they stick to my hands like velco.

I've Finally Seen Them All

2006-05-22T12:05:00.000-05:00

Six Feet Under, I'm done. And although the final season seemed to drag on at parts, overall it was great. What really pushed it over the edge, however, was an amazing final episode. The way the writers ended this show was brilliant. It'll be a long time before a show on HBO or network comes along that can rival this one.

And speaking of ending something. Sopranos. This season has been a major disappointment and while I don't want to see Tony go away, I think it's time. As the season began Tony was put on life support. While he may be alright now, the show continues to have life pumped into from a machine. HBO it's time to pull the plug.

You'll love Mac's new ads.

2006-05-07T11:51:00.000-05:00

How great are these new Mac spots? I love them.

It's simple own a Mac or be the dorky guy with a pager, and cell phone holster.

Plus it sells. What's different with a Mac? Unique selling proposition is defined and exploited. It's all there for you in 30 seconds of advertising glory. So many ads that are considered creative truimphs sell nothing. You learn nothing. Sure you're entertained but that's it. These spots entertain, and inform. A major success.

?

2006-05-07T11:47:00.000-05:00

You are reading the blog of an idiot. This past Friday I went to see the film, What Is It? (Calling it a film isn’t suggesting it’s a well thought out and crafted cinema experience. Film is simply referring to the fact that this was a series of images developed on a material called film.) It’s the brainchild of Crispin Glover. He’s known as one of the strangest personalities to come from Hollywood. But that’s what he wants you to think and that’s why this movie was really kind of lame.

I don’t know where to start so I’ll start at the beginning. Why go? I got an email from this local independent record store in Milwaukee, Atomic Records. Usually these mailers come once a week. And the last four weeks it’s been hyping this event along with your typical record releases, etc. So I thought, “Could be interesting.” Don’t know why? Never really been a Crispin Glover fan. Honestly I’ve seen Back to the Future, Charlie’s Angels, the Doors, The People V. Larry Flint, and a couple other randoms he’s been in. He’s a David Lynch guy as well, I think he’s been in a couple of his movies. So I thought What is It? would be some sort of David Lynch jaunt. A little surreal, and completely strange. Sure was, plus it made me sad, and dirty feeling.

The last 36 hours have involved deep prayer, scrubbing, and a trip to my psychoanalyst. That’s how unbelievably bizarre this movie was. But before I get to the movie I need to discuss the spoken word, book reading, and slideshow experience. Crispin was in the building. In fact it’s part of the deal. He only screens the movie if he’s there. He starts out reading excerpts from his books. One was called the manual for Rat Catching. So you get the idea. He writes absurd books, reads them, and then shows slides. This part of the show was mildly entertaining. These stories were funny. A manual on rat catching? How can you take him seriously? You can’t. And that I think is important cause it sets up the film.

What Is It? Here’s what was in it. (Thanks to imdb.com for a couple of these bullets)

--A naked woman in a monkey mask masturbating a 60-year-old man who has cerebral palsy while he reclines naked on a large sea shell. If you want to see a man with cerebral palsy and his penis this is your kind of movie.

--Naked women in monkey masks popping out of little craters and smashing open watermelons.

--A number of people with Down's Syndrome who kill each other by hitting each other on the head with shovels and smothering one another with plastic bags. (These people really do have Down's Syndrome; they are not 'normal' actors playing the part of people with DS.)

--A Down’s Syndrome actor talking to Shirley Temple via walkie talkie.

--Talking snails who are killed by the Down's Syndrome actors. The actors pour salt on the snails and one snail is beheaded with a razor blade. The snails scream in pain quite a bit.

Discussing plot, story structure, or anything else of cinematic merit is completely ridiculous. Hello read above. This movie is a total joke. Capped off with Crispin Glover answering people’s question. But he doesn’t really answer your questions. He skirts them by speaking on everything but your question. So I decide I’m going to ask this guy something. I ask about this line of dialogue (which I regret now, cause that’s what this guy wanted, all the people to take him seriously cause jokes on you) but the line is, “Mom it was all a joke.” So I asked what that meant. He skirted it. I wish I had been more direct. But it was funny when people were asking, “What were thinking when you edited this way?” And he wouldn’t answer. Cause he had no clue. He put this together in a hodge podge and is trying to get a rise out of intellectual art snobs.

At first I kind of liked the whole experience. But it took me 24 hours and talking to a couple of my friends that I went with to say, “This guy is a pompous jerk.” He’s the art snob. Ohhh look at me, I’m Mr. Artist, I’m going around the nation and showing my film and then I’ll read the audiences reaction and it’ll be my own little psychological experiment. Hollywood has given this guy fame. Now he’s using that fame, and notoriety as the freaky guy to show this ridiculous film and get personal pleasure for watching the audience’s reaction. Screw that.

If someone were to ask me for a one-word description for What Is It? The word would be—disturbing. At first I thought I wasn’t smart enough to understand his commentary on America in the film. Now I know I’m smart enough to understand this was a big freaking joke, and I took part in it. Touche Mr. Glover you got me, you got me real good.

Radiohead

2006-05-07T11:42:00.000-05:00

Screw you Radiohead for not playing stadiums. I tried to get tickets to the Chicago show. It was sold out in ten freaking seconds. At least that's what it seemed like. If anyone reads my blog and got Radiohead tickets please add a comment. Cause I know like 10 people that tried and zero got ticks. That's just amazing.

Why Are There No Funny Woman Stand Up Comedians?

2006-04-27T15:09:00.000-05:00

I'm a big fan of stand up comedy. Jim Gaffigan, Seinfeld, Cosby, George Carlin, Mitch Hedberg, Brian Regan, Chris Rock, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Robin Williams, Frank Caliendo, Steve Martin, Jack Benny, Dave Chappelle, David Cross, Bob Newhart, and Rita Rudner are some of my favorite stand-ups. Wait a second. One of these names isn't fitting in with the others. Rita how'd you get in there? This isn't an exercise in trying to make woman feel less superior to men. Woman are far more superior to men in most areas. But let's not get into this debate.

Plain and simple, I've never heard a female stand up I like. I've never heard a funny one, and I've never enjoyed their jokes. Stand ups, that's it too. There's been ton of successful female comic actors. I loved that show, and soon to be a movie 'Strangers with Candy.' The TV show Seinfeld had some female writers too. Even SNL has had it's fair share of hilarious female cast members. But when you look at just stand up comedy the list is sort and disappointing.

I rattled off 12 comics or so. And I can say with confidence that there isn't a single female comic who comes close to being as funny as any of these guys. You'd think just by the randomness of the world there'd be one female comic you could lump into this group. There isn't. Whoopi Goldberg may be the closest. But I mean she's so irrelevant now it doesn't matter.

Why are there no good female stand-ups? It boggles my mind. Hopefully there's some aspiring female comic out there right now working her act and soon she'll be the king. But I doubt it. If there's one place where a man is better then a woman it's in stand-up.

Thanks Mr. Stotts. Thanks a lot.

2006-04-20T10:50:00.000-05:00

Man, I was looking forward to the Bucks season this year. Look back in my previous posts. Expectations were high. Well those are gone, in fact they vanished about three months ago. Now on the eve of the NBA playoffs the Milwaukee Bucks are facing the foaming at the mouth Detroit Pistons. The pride of the Motor City is about devour the boys from the big sausage.

Where did we go wrong? We had the first pick, we signed a big name free agent, we even pulled a late pre season move that got us depth at the center position. Not to mention the already young nucleus that was in place. Somewhere something went horribly wrong. We should've seen it coming. How man last second shots can a team make? How poor of defense can you play before it starts catching up on you? In the NBA what goes around comes around. It's such a bad cliche but it's so true. The Bucks played by the skin of their teeth early on, and they lost the same way down the stretch. I think the Bucks problems started before any of the aforementioned deals were made. Before the number one pick. It all went bad last June.

We fired Terry Porter, a good coach, and an even better guy. Talk about a screw job. Now I'm not saying the Bucks would be any better this year with Porter, but it set percedant. Porter did a good job. Two years ago he took a Bucks team with much less talent to the same place Stotts took this team. And I'd argue, along with most of Milwaukee that this 2006 team has WAY more talent. Stotts lost the team. The never played defense, they never played disciplined, and they never looked well coached. For those who think an NBA coach doesn't make a difference look at the Lakers. Enough said.

This season falls squarely on the shoulders of Stotts. He didn't get it done. A coaches job is to get the most out of their players. That was not achieved. The Bucks have Bogut, and Magloire. Do they run any offense through them, no. They jump shoot. Was defense emphasized? No. The Bucks had a chance to get the five seed all they had to do was beat the Raptors, and the Hawks. Oh yeah, at home. They didn't. Both games, blow outs. I guess when it's all said and done I'm disappointed. Did I think the Bucks would win it all? No. But I thought they'd be better than Cleveland, and the Nets. Clearly they weren't. Was it personal? Sure a little. But I think poor coaching sunk this ship. Hopefully Terry Porter is still available.

The Airline Industry Can Go F*ck Itself

2006-04-17T14:21:00.000-05:00

Greetings. Just returned from Palm Springs. A lovely place. Unfortunately, like most people, I needed to fly a commercial airline out there. And like most people I flew coach. And like most people I absolutely detest, to the point of pure rage, air travel. It's the one thing that pretty much everyone does, and pretty much everyone that does it, hates it. We're at the point where the airlines have simply stopped trying. Sure they hide behind their smiles and 'have a good day', but you know deep down inside the airline business hates you. Your eyes are dollar signs and that's all they care about.

I'm tall (six feet five inches) so the airplane is probably the most uncomfortable position I put myself in voluntarily. When I was a teenager a family friend turned me onto the emergency row (also known as a blessing from god for tall people). Sure the seats still suck, but you get an extra 5 inches of leg room. A god send for those three plus hour jaunts. Well guess what Northwest Airlines decided to do. They decided to call the 'emergency row' premium seating. Now you get to sit there, but you have to pay an extra $15 for the right to sit there. This is so backwards. What this says to me is. If the plane goes down, it doesn't matter we're all dead, so we might as well get a couple extra hundred bucks out of these poor saps. How do we protest this? How do we say, FUCK YOU Northwest. You suck. You can't, it's impossible. The airlines have America by the balls. There's nothing you or I can do about it. Try protesting Northwest. You can't. You'll need to take it at some point. Oh and this emergency row $15 thing, it doesn't stop there. Want to sit more towards the front of the plane? Pay up.

I hate airplanes. Northwest Airlines may be my least favorite company in America.

Honey I'm Going to Blow Chunks

2006-04-11T09:17:00.000-05:00

Dr. Hark will tell you what's beautiful

"In each family, the children’s eating habits have spiraled out of control into a diet of nonstop junk food – sugar, snacks, processed food– and huge, oversized portions. Coupled with a lack of exercise and sleep, this lifestyle means the kids are not only hyper and unruly, they are at serious risk of becoming overweight and developing high-blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease."

Herein lies the premise of the newest travesty brought upon the American public. Honey We're Killing the Kids is the newest cold blooded, guilt causing show that's polluting cable. Not only does this show teach bad things, it reinforces these bad things with the American perception of beauty.

The show finds kids with bad eating habits, and fat parents. Then using the wonders of fake technology shows these little kids what they'd look like if they continue down the poor eating habit road. BUT then with a little work, a little exercise, and if you stop eating twinkies you could look like this. A good looking, skinny person. Imagine as a little kid seeing this. It would just really effect you.

This show is garbage. It takes America's beauty complex and uses it to manipulate little kids. Maybe the over weight person is beautiful. I don't need you, TLC, to tell me what is beauty and what isn't. And to take little children down, that just makes me want to blow chunks.

PLAY BALL!

2006-04-04T16:30:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited. Last night as I lay in bed I couldn't help but think how great it is that baseball is back. Opening day is such an important day in every baseball fans season. Yeah there's the cliche's. Every team has hope. We're all in first when the pitcher takes the ball. But I think there's more.

Of course my team, the Milwaukee Brewers, are more optimistic than anyone. With the emergence of young talent they're ready to contend this year. For what? Not quite sure yet. Could be a playoff spot, or the most disappointing team ever. Whatever it is, it's in the future. No one can see that far.

And my other team, my fantasy team. They're poised to do well this year too. At least I hope.

The Seinfeld of Rap

2006-03-24T15:51:00.000-06:00

Ok, I stole this from someone. But it's the perfect description for an amazing CD. A Grand Don't Come for Free by The Streets is rap, it's a story, and it's amazing. It's simple. A concept rap album. And at it's surface it's a rap album about nothing. Like the first Streets album, Original Pirate Material, Mike Skinner (AKA The Streets) discusses what it's like being a British everyman. His albums discuss many all important topics like playing PS2, returning DVD's, find the thousand quid he lost, his girlfriend being crazy, and the difficulty of a break up. It's fun, it's funny, and it's sad. A full run of the emotions. Not many musical albums of any genres can achieve laughter and tears. A Grand Don't Come for Free comes close.

During the late sixties the Beatles wrote, A Day in the Life. Now nearly forty years later, Skinner writes an album about a day in the life. Ironically, the Beatles took American rock and roll and made it better, maybe even perfected it. Likewise the Streets takes the idea of American Rap, and adds a little British ingenuity. I find this interesting. The idea of the Brits taking a peace of American culture and improving it. It's especially been evident in music. America gave birth to Rock and Roll, no question about that. But then those post war brits got their hands on Chuck Berry, and Little Richard. They never let go. The rock of the sixties, and seventies still lives today, and it's British.

The question is will this be the same with rap? At some point rap in America will lose some steam. It'll still be popular, but as far as innovation goes, maybe we need to look to our British neighbors? With the Streets, as well as someone like Dizzee Rascal the answer seems to be like the Brits are taking rap to the next level. It hasn't won over America yet, and maybe these two artists won't, but they'll certainly lead the way. Much like the Kinks did for the British invasion.

One thing is for certain no matter what side of the pond you are on, A Grand Don't Come for Free.

Virgin Does Great Ad Work

2006-03-21T14:33:00.001-06:00

Check out this little nugget I found. It's a Virgin Music poster depicting a bunch bands. Can you find all 75? I see Smashing Pumpkins and B-52's.

Go with Frozen Lasagna.

2006-03-20T12:54:00.000-06:00

I've tried to make a fresh, hand-made lasagna once in my life. It was a disaster. Meat was everywhere. Ricotta, mozarella, and all sorts of other cheeses were mixed resulting in a disgusting ricotterella combination. So take it from me, when you make Lasagna, save yourself some time, and agony and just buy a frozen one.

In order to understand lasagna we must first get to the core of what makes Lasagna tick. Lasagna was first recorded in history during the reign of Julius Caesar. In fact it was served in Caesar's elementary school, it was his favorite day. Wednesday. Many scholar's agree that the Roman Calendar originally had 8 days, but Casear hated the Swedish Meatballs, which were always served on the 8th day. So he got rid of it. Ironically Caesar's conquest of Europe was to make it to Sweden so he could behead the inventor of his most dispised culinary concoction. When Caesar ascended to the thrown he mandated that every cook in his kitchen know how to make lasagna. If they didn't they'd be cast off to work with his brother, Little Caesar. He enjoyed the less desirable pizza. Don't get me wrong. Normal sized Caesar liked pizza, just not as much as lasagna.

Lasagna was perfected over a thousand years ago, so you'd think I'd be able to handle the task today. But no. It's easily just as tasty. Pop it in the oven, boom it's done. Here's another interesting note on lasagna. Why does it not seem as good at restaurants? It's the only food where if you eat it at home it's better then when you eat out. I think restaurants are on to this frozen thing too. How many of these places actually have time to make lasagna? It takes forever. They don't have the time. So they buy frozen. And that's why you should go with frozen Lasagna.

Has HBO done it again?

2006-03-13T14:20:00.000-06:00

Recently I've made a new pact with myself. As long as I have HBO, I'm giving any new series they debut a chance. HBO's track record is impeccable. Simply put, everything they do, I love. Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Rome, Curbed Your Enthuiasm, Mr. Show, Tenacious D, Ali G, ARLI$$, and now Big Love.

Like everyone I tuned in last night for Tony, Carmila, and the rest of the Sopranos crew. But after my short stay in Jersey, I was whisked away to the demented shores of the Great Salt Lake. There I was introduced to the first show, besides the Osmond's, that dealt with Mormon's. Already, I'm hooked.

I have a hard enough time keeping one woman happy. This guy has gotta take care of three. And it looks like it's going to be a pain in the ass. Oh yeah, they all live in one house kind of. It's like three houses with one back yard. Every few days they have one huge family meal together. It's crazy. And creepy too.

Mormon's, I don't know anything about them. Well I did read Under the Banner of Heaven, by John Krakeaur, good book, but some what of a one sided account of the religion. Sure it was founded by a circus magician, John Smith. And yes he got some tablets given to him by god. Of course only he could read them only with his magic glasses that no one else could have. Once these tablets were transcribed they were buried never to be found again. So I bet you're judging these Mormon's now? Well I'd hold off. Cause let me tell you a little story about Moses. He spoke to a burning bush, and then parted a sea. Religion is full of stories. Do you believe them all word for word?

Back to Big Love. The show explores two sides of Mormon's. 'Normal' polygimist households, and then the compounds that get real strange. This show is also going to take us on ride about Mormon business. I think the church provides money for businessman. So this should be interesting as the conflict is set between the Paxton character and the father character.

Big Love, give it a try.

My Space is dirty and cluttered with hookers.

2006-03-02T16:10:00.001-06:00

Over the past week I've done something important with my life. I started a profile on myspace. Rememeber myspace? It used to be called Friendster. Why would I do myspace, for that matter why would I do a blog? Because I'm important, and what I say matters. That's why, and if you have a problem with it please don't tell me cause I'm very sensitive and you'll make me very sad.

The real reason, not to sound all self important, is because in advertising it's vital that you understand all forms of communication out there. Blogs, and myspace are two such forms of communication (there's probably a million more I haven't discovered). Basically I want to find another way to have corporate America sneek into your life. This is why I started doing myspace. To understand a bit more on how it works and how I can reach people on myspace if I was a corporate entity. I do the blog cause god damn it I'm pretty interesting.

So back to myspace. Here's what I discovered. It's just like friendster. Except there's a little more room for customization. You can enter basic html programming and make the site yours. I haven't done this. html could mean hello tv my love for all I know. Nope, my site is basic, simple, bare bones. I have my mug up there and then a picture of my deceased dog Elke. Then there's this little column about who you are. So I entered some of my likes and dislikes. It's funny to see other peoples. Most people are really dumb. But not me, my like's and about me's are the best. Once all the likes and dislikes are done you get to the fun part. Searching for friends.

During this search you just type in people's names, boom they show up. Then you add them. I have about 30 or so friends. That's nothing. Some people, depending on how big their boobs are have upwards of 5000 friends. Right now Wilco, and Henry Rollins are my friends. I don't know if it's really them or not. But they're my friends. Henry and I are going out for some cyber cocktails later in the week.

Here's what I don't like about myspace. YOu're bombarded with emails from all these self serving bands who think they're the shit and want you to add them to your friend list. Don't think so NINTH. Yeah these fuckers from Finland want to be my friend. I don't know you Bjorn and I don't like your band so go away. Plus some people think it's awesome to have a song play on their myspace page. I HATE THIS. If you're a band cool. But seriously I don't want to hear your favorite song play when I see what you're up to. NO more songs. It's so annoying. So people even have a song, and a video. Time out person. Song audio, video audio don't mix.

So that's myspace in a nutshell. Nice way to keep in touch with buddies. Maybe even get a date, but annoying in that you have to listen to people's horrible music every time you go their site.

As far as the advertising ramifications, well I can see some benefit, but nothing really that great could come of it. Maybe just keep awareness going. Make someone feel better about a brand they're loyal to.

If you're lonely and need a friend visit myspace.

myspace.com/laughjon

For My Next Frivolous Purchase

2006-03-02T10:25:00.000-06:00

I love Planet of the Apes. I've been toying with the idea of buying the complete DVD series, but now I'm holding out. For this gem. The ape head is where the DVD's go. Science rules.

Planet of the Apes is great science fiction. Or as I like to refer to it as science fact. What if the internet has already been invented, or cars drove around, we had airplanes, and then something happened. Something mysterious. We (earth) was sent back to the stone age. Starting over billions of years ago, and now here we are today, but it was just like the past.

CP+B stole my damn line

2006-03-01T14:16:00.000-06:00

Yep. You work hard in advertising to try to get the best line produced. When it happens you feel good, great, and extra special. Then just when it's about to go up for the world to see, the best and hottest ad agency in America uses your exact same line. Plus VW is slightly more visable.

I'm not saying in da haus is some sacred sentence. But damn it, I'm disappointed. Maybe this means I can work there. Please hire me CP+B.

Short shorts and long tights.

2006-03-01T14:04:00.000-06:00

We're men, we're men in tights. Apparently this is the new saying in the NBA. Men wearing tights is cool. Obviously it's true, cause all the stars are doing it. I'm a Bucks fan and four to five guys on the team are doing it. Everyone is doing it. But are the tights performance enhancers? Do they make a difference in a players game? Who knows, one thing is for sure, they look incredibly stupid.

What's going to come of this? Will little kids wear tights under their YMCA uni's. Probably. The NBA always seems to have this trend that comes, and eventually goes. The head band, the wrist band, the ultra baggy shorts, the bike shorts under the shorts, the tattoo, that arm thing that Iverson wears, and now this: full blown tights.

My theory is become truer by the day. NBA players are slowly becoming women. Maybe the WNBA isn't such a bad idea. Next season I heard Shaq's gonna be wearing a nice set of double D breats. He'll be known as the Big Aerola.

The Heroes of the Olympics

2006-02-24T11:45:00.000-06:00

That hot chic who was an ice dancer.

That hot chic who was a snowboarder.

That cute chic who was another snowboarder.

and Bode Miller.

PSP Has Arrived

2006-02-19T19:07:00.000-06:00

First off sorry to all those who have searched out this blog to waste time and found nothing new. Those days are over. Recently I was on vacation. It was awesome. And when I returned home, I was lucky enough to receive the greatest gift off all time. The PSP.

For those of you who don't know the PSP stands for playstation portable. That's right folks. A playstation you can take anywhere. And yes, it's been in the bathroom. So what does this mean for me, my life, my blog. Well, it's going to mean a lot of procrastination. It's going to mean I'm always going to have this little piece of plastic in my hands at all times.

So how is it? It's amazing. You video games? You'll love this. It's all the powers of a TV, and computer in your hands. The screen is great too. I got Tennis and Soccer. Both are cool, but very difficult. Also they make these things for pygmy hands. My hands cramp up like nobody's business when I start playing for anything more than 20 minutes. That's the only drawback.

On a side note, I don't think I'm going to be reading as much.

Viral Advertising: When a Good Thing Goes Client

2006-02-01T13:26:00.000-06:00

I love viral advertising. I really do. Too bad it's dead. So long, bye bye, see you on the other side. Remember the good ol days. BMW films. The subserviant chicken. Those were great. So fun. So original. What happened? How did viral die?

Two words. The client. The client found out about this medium. And not the forward thinking who originally approved the idea. These are the kind of MBA marketing degree people who in a meeting spit out something like, "We need to go viral with this campaign." By saying that they mean, lets take our TV spot where we show a fancy car and just put it online. What guy wouldn't want to forward that on to his friend?

Unfortunately the answer is no one. Which is why viral died. Sometimes people get caught up in the hot trend. What they forget is that the trend comes and goes, but it's the idea that's always going to stay. So rather than think of viral as a linear extention of what the ad campaign is about, think of viral as it's own deal. Would you make a TV spot into a radio spot? Unless you're sniffing glue and working for GM, then probably not. So why should a TV spot be the viral spot? It shouldn't. TV is TV, viral should be it's own animal. If TV is a Panda, then viral should be a racoon.

We're treading dangerous waters. The suggestion that viral and the campaign don't need to be related is a valid one, however, there does need to be a connection somewhere. Case in point, Miller Lite, they have these beer run TV spots. Recently they've employeed the direction of Spike Jonze and made some interesting Viral Ads involving various North American animals talking about their acting careers. Here's the link... http://www.millerauditions.com/
As you can see they really have nothing to do about anything. They're just weird. Weird is good, but make it have a point.

Weird with a point is powerful. Weird with a point is some of the best advertising. Isn't that right Subserviant Chicken?

Jerome Bettis is From Detroit

2006-02-01T08:53:00.000-06:00

Wasn't sure if you guys knew this. And just so we're clear, Jerome Bettis is from Detroit. His team happens to be in the Super Bowl, and the Super Bowl happens to be in Detroit. You know what this means? Nothing. People don't care. Honestly they don't, they'd rather get a free pizza delivered to them. They'd rather try to get a pencil stuck in the ceiling (you know what I'm talking about. In elementary, or middle school those weird asbestos ceiling tiles. You throw a nicely sharpened pencil into it and if you're luck it sticks.) Well people would rather do that then hear one more story about this mediocre running back returning home to win a Superbowl.

OK, Ok, so it does mean something. It means something to those retards*. The retards* think that Jerome Bettis going home for a Super Bowl is the biggest story in all of sports. At least over the last two weeks. What the retards* aren't mentioning is the fact that we have a great game on our hands. Who cares though? The game will get ruined. It'll get ruined by all the commercial capitalistic blah that will all of us will get bombarded with. And even if we manage not to get distracted by shiny Ipods, or Cadillac rocking out to another baby boomer song we'll miss something cause we're stuffing our face with Dominoes Pizza topped with Tositodos and Pepsi.

What I'm saying is the Super Bowl sucks. I mean it's in Detroit for crying out loud. Who was the genius who decided to put it there? Probably someone who has something to do with the retards*. Thanks to the retards* the games are always over hyped. Unless Matt Hasselback grows Fabio hair, throws the ball around the earth before completing the pass, and eats four bacon cheeseburgers on a bootleg pass then the game will be overrated. Once again thanks to the retards*.

I don't care about this Superbowl. I really don't. I will watch it. Hopefully I'll have a piece of pepperoni in my hands, but I'm not going to enjoy it. I promise. The retards* ruin the Super Bowl every year. You may say, "Jon why don't you ignore the retards?" I would say, "I can't they're everywhere. The retards* have infected my television. They're in my newspaper. My computer has a virus called retardiatia*. I don't know what to do."

With all that said here are some predictions for Super Bowl Sunday.

--I will eat an entire pizza.
--I will eat an entire bag of chips.
--I will drink 6 beers.
--The retards* will piss me off.
--6 hours of pregame will turn into infinity of pregame. Hell is officially on earth.
--6 hours of pregame will turn into six hours of Jerome Bettis is from Detroit. His house got boarded up. He weighs more than 255. He had his high school number retired. His teammates wore his Notre Dame jersey on the flight.
--Is it me or have you guys lost respect for Hines Ward? What a pussy that guy is. I'll take Randle El over him any day. So Hines Ward will become a bigger pussy.

Retards*--refers to any person affiliated with ESPN. They are evil. They are ruining sports.

The gayest movie of the year.

2006-01-23T11:25:00.000-06:00

Yep that's right. I saw Brokeback Mountain. That must mean I'm Gay. Or maybe I'm just really sensitive. Maybe my Showtunes compilation CD had a scratch. Maybe I loaned out all my Liza Minelli films. Maybe my feather boa is at the dry cleaner. You get the picture. Brokeback Mountain is about two gay cowboys. One cowboy accepts his gayness. The other denies his gayness. From there the story goes.

I referenced this movie in a previous post. Gay people would tell you to see it then when you would say 'no man' they'd lecture you about having an open mind. So I'm a hypocrite. Oops. Moving forward. I saw the movie, and I liked it. Although there are points where honestly I couldn't relate. Regardless I got through those moments.

Most people probably aren't going to see this because they just chalk it up to I'm not gay. My recommendation would be to get over it. What I really liked about this movie is it's a story. It just puts everything out there. Also, no ulterior motives. So many times you see a movie and the people who made it think this message will change things. And with this movie it would have been easy to do that, but they didn't. It just delivers a great story. About one Cowboy who likes another Cowboy. I guess it's just so real. Isn't that the ultimate compliment to a filmmaker? Realness.

Ang Lee is successful in making one of the most beautiful Westerns I've ever seen. And yes it's a Western. The landscape is just amazing. He does so much with so little. My guess is this movie will clean up the Oscars. It's such an original movie. No movie has ever been made quite like it. The directing is amazing and so are the performances. Heath Ledger is really great. Perhaps better than Phil Hoffman in Capote. Which gets to another interesting topic. Is it better acting to give life to an original character, or to portray an existing person in history? But that is for another blog.

Sometimes getting over preconceived notions, thoughts, whatever is hard. If you want to see a good movie I suggest going to see Brokeback Mountain.

Born From What?

2006-01-19T11:25:00.000-06:00

I'm wondering if other people have noticed the most retarded ad campaign running these days? The campaing belongs to Saab. Perhaps the strangest car out there. They seem nice, but I don't know anyone who owns one. Anyways Saab is hanging there automotive integrity on the campaign tag: BORN FROM JETS. First a couple thoughts that seem basic. Jets fly. Cars don't. Why does Saab feel this is so great? If a Saab deployed wings and flew all over the place then yes Born From Jets would be appropiate. Also Saabs would suddenly kick ass. Everyone would have a Saab if it flew. The flying thing is an odd comparison. Next the word 'Born'. Huh? So a jet popped a Saab out of it's fuselage. It just makes for a strange visual.

Saab is manufactored in Sweden. So with that logic these are Swedish jest. And in the commercial it appears that they are military jets. Ohhh scary. Swedish military jets scare me about as much as Swedish meatballs. What a misguided campaign this is. If someone buys a Saab because it was born from a jet I'd like to meet them and immediately slap them.

When you look at the family tree of Jets it goes Jets, planes, wright brothers, bikes. So really it should be Saab Born from Bicycles.

What Could've Been

2006-01-19T08:34:00.000-06:00

I recently received an email from someone regarding a trade proposal the Brewers turned down. The Phillies wanted to send the Brewers Ryne Sandberg for a middle reliever. Don't remember who the reliever was, but he was obviously a mouse turd in the scheme of baseball history. That got me thinking of what could've been. Ryne Sandberg, Robin Yount, and Paul Molitor talk about a vaunted infield. What's ironic is that the Brewers potentially could have an infield this good right now. We could look back in 15 years and say, "What luck." Granted these guys are all in the Hall Of Fame, and it's yet to be seen what Bill Hall, JJ Hardy, Rickie Weeks, and Prince Fielder will ever do, but regardless it's interesting to speculate. It's too bad the Brewers GM at the time didn't grab Sandberg. A) Because I hate the Cubs B) Maybe he could've put us over the top for the World Series in 82. Anyways that's enough about this, here's some more horrible sports transactions in Wisconsin's history.

Dr. J was drafted by the Bucks. His name was just Julius at the time, but rather than go to the NBA he decided to go to the ABA. Things worked out well for him. The Bucks didn't totally suck in the early 80s either, but it makes you wonder what could've been.

The Bucks seem to be very inept at recognizing talent. Remember, we had Dirk Nowitzski, but traded him for Tractor Trayler? What a blunder that was. Plus it's close to home cause they're both still playing. Guess who got the better end of that deal? The Mavericks are always in the playoffs. The Bucks are sporadic at best and are still trying to find out who they are.

Then of course the Ray Allen--Gary Payton debacle. This one I chalk up to George Karl trying to make a last ditch effort to prove that his guys can win. He was wrong. Gary bolted immediately. Ray is still in Seattle. Nice move Bucks.

What could've been...

Albums I've Listened to So Far in 2006

2006-01-12T14:10:00.000-06:00

I like to listen to albums. With the advent of the Ipod people seem to be downloading individual songs more and more. Poppycock! With that said here's a list in no particular order of some albums I've listened to recently.

The Smiths--Louder Than Bombs

The Who--Quadrophenia (which reminds me, I just bought this kick ass Who poster from the 1973 Who Quadrophenia tour. It's being framed right now. I'll post a photo soon. Maybe even do a whole blog on the greatest band ever.)

Brian Wilson--Smile

Ween--12 Country Hits

Dinosaur Jr.--You're Living All Over Me.

Sufjan Stevens--Illinois

Radiohead--Kid A

I HATE (OK HATE IS A STRONG WORD, MAYBE DON'T UNDERSTAND) VEGANS

2006-01-10T09:33:00.000-06:00

I'd like to share a story about vegans. This weekend I was dining at a local eatery that is not only amazing, it is also Vegan friendly. Which means, let the parade of freaks in. Anyways I'm enjoying a delicious cheesy roast beef sandwich when four people down from this Vegan starts raising holy hell. First I'd like to describe this person too you. He has more metal on his face then a thirteen year old with braces and head gear. Except this dude isn't taking his stuff off when he goes into public. Also, he's a painted man. Tattooed isn't a strong enough work. This guy had ink all over. His lower jaw, his arms, he was wearing pants (thank god) so I couldn't tell if he was leg painted, but I assume he was. Finally he dreedlocks. And not the cool rastaman vibration locks, but the gross, haven't showered since the Clinton administration locks. Approachable is not a word I would use to describe this gentlemen. He seemed like the kind of person who constantly burns incense and smokes American Spirits cause they're natural man. Oh, he was with his girlfriend too. She basically looked the same, minus the face tattoos.

He orders a Vegan Burrito. The server brings it to him (server is a word I have now officially ingrained into my memory cause I do ad work for a restaurant and you can't call people waiters or waitresses. So if you hear me say waiter slap me.) his meal of food. He is immediately angry. Not like freaking, but mad. He turns to one of the people I was with for lunch and says, "You believe they are out of Vegan sour cream!" Actually buddy yeah. See that's one of the luxuries you give up when you become a Vegan. No more sour cream. See ya, bye bye. We all love sour cream. But it comes from a cows teet and there isn't much you can do about. It's like a smoker complaining about someone smoking next to them. Which brings me to this, why become a Vegan at all if you still want sour cream. To me it's cheating, even if it's vegan sour cream. I don't get it.

Now let me share a bit about me. I'm a meat eater. But I'm one with a conscious. I realize that some poor animal suffered for me to but fat in my belly. The thing I understand is that humans are meat eaters. We eat flesh because it gives us a superior amount of energy to tackle the obstacles of the day. Science is on my side too. Our jaws and teeth are built to tear the flesh off the bone of animal. So sue me, I like a T-Bone steak. I like a chicken breast. I'll take two more meatballs. You're either a meat eater or you aren't. You're either a meat eater or a Vegan. Vegetarians? They eat eggs, drink milk, and USE SOUR CREAM. How is that better then eating meat? If it's a health decision I get it, but if it's a moral decision, there is only one way to go Vegan.

And as I mentioned Vegans are people I don't understand. How can you make that choice? Morale is great, but it just seems like there's better morale choices to make. Like stop the death of children around the world. Or rid Iraq of evil-doers. Or give a grey hound a home. Whatever it is being a Vegan just seems like the biggest inconvenience of all time. It also gives people an "act like an ass card" cause this isn't vegan. You can never go out to dinner. You have to eat only vegetables, fruit, soy, nuts, water, unleavened bread, and stuff that contains no animal by products. Being a Vegan sounds like a job in it self. Which is probably why a lot of Vegans I see look like they don't have jobs. They don't have a job cause they're reading food labels 5 hours a day and complaining about not being able to use Vegan Sour Cream.

Six Feet Underrated

2006-01-09T15:20:00.001-06:00

I've started renting old TV shows. Although this particular show is not TV it's HBO. When Six Feet Under was on normally I never watched it, but recently I started getting them sent to me thanks to Netflix. Now I'm obsessed with it. I sit waiting at my mailbox everyday like a dog waiting for a biscuit, but instead of a biscuit I get a great drama, black comedy. It makes my day. What I"m wondering is why I never stayed after the Soprano's to watch this show. Was it because I wanted to watch Family Guy? The Simpsons? If that's the case what an idiot I am. Six Feet Under is way better than both those shows. Right now I'm on season three.

I like the show cause it makes me feel good. There are people out there way more messed up than I'll ever be. And HBO has greatfully made a show about them. Be it David turning into Homosexual version of his passive agressive mother, or Nate slowly turning into the undertaker he never wanted to be. Just like his father. Claire the freak, who's only attracted to other freaks. Her life seems to fall apart during every episode. Then there's Ruth. A good Mom, but she sure raised some insane children. Something is lurking in the past with Ruth. I'm looking forward to seeing what it is.

I miss Brenda. She just came back briefly at the beginning of season three, but I need her back full time. She's such a freak. I also miss Nikolai. Ruth's Russian boyfriend. I have a feeling he's gone forever. Which is sad. Looking forward to letting everyone know how season 3 and 4 turn out.

I love Ted Ferguson

2006-01-02T19:59:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year to everyone. I love Ted Ferguson. Bud Light has, once again, struck gold with a new character. His name is Ted Ferguson and he is a stunt man. He'll listen to his girlfriend, albeit for 3 minutes, but he needs his Bud Light when it's over. It just seems that Budweiser always is one step ahead of Miller when it comes to funny commercials. Why? I don't know. But Ted Ferguson is making a lasting impression already. Bud Light has always been great at funny. The Real Men of Genius radio spots set the bar really high. Now it appears that have a similar formula here with Ted. I hope they don't overdue this guy. My guess is we'll have to stare at Ted for a few more years, but hopefully not.

Sometimes the best ads are the ones that are only on your plate for a quick amount of time. In fact Ted isn't even original. He's still good, but Miller Lite ran a stunt man campaign about 8 years ago. The guys name was different and he was a bit goofy in appearence, but essentially it was the same campaign. He tested the Miller to make sure it worked. Ted Ferguson does stunts and is rewarded by a cold one. My point here is that every single ad rips off something else, and usually another ad. Is that bad? Well some people would say yes, you're a hack, but that simply isn't true.

If you read enough literature you begin to see writers rip each other off all the time. Would Joseph Heller have been able to write Catch-22 without a little inspiration from Kurt Vonnegat? Probably not. Tell me a horror writer out there today that doesn't get inspiration from Edgar Allen Poe. It's even evident in movies. Directors barrow other directors styles.

Which brings me back to Ted Ferguson being great. He's great because he's entertaining, he's fun, and isn't that what entertainment is? Isn't that was advertising is? Entertainment.

TSMGMF and A's Sportsman of the Year.

2005-12-29T14:18:00.000-06:00

When determining who the Sportsman of the Year was going to be, many different themes and topics had to be explored. For instance you had the White Sox winning their first World Series in 80 years. Ozzie Guillen rallied a team of misfits to champs. It just didn't feel big enough The thought of Michelle Wie becoming a professional wasn't given any thought. It's not a story til she wins. SI chose Tom Brady as there's. Great player, great leader, seems like a good person, but he's got so much press already, and lets be honest there just isn't quite enough there. Everyone seemed transfixed with Danica Patrick. Race car drivers are automatically exempt from this award. Auto racing isn't a sport. TSMGMF and A's Sportsman of the Year didn't do a damn thing this year. He tried to sell a book, he tried to be self serving, but during the process he blew the whistle on something that has been plaguing baseball for the last 20 years. He halted the use of steroids in Major League Baseball about as fast as one of this homers got out of the stadium. Jose Canseco did more for baseball in three months than he did in his entire career. For that he's Sportsman of the Year.

Even though you didn't want to, when Jose Canseco outted many major leaguers as roid users, you had to listen. Jose Canseco was the poster boy of, "man that guy has to be on steroids." It seemed like everyone in the universe knew he was on something except the people who ran baseball. We should be applauding Canseco for what he did. He saved baseball. He's turned it back into the game it should be. Only gifted players should excel. They should excel with hard work and a knack for baseball. They shouldn't achieve fake records cause they use a needle.